seriously!?

phew!

2011-06-14T11:24:00.002-04:00

these little munchkins are wearing me out!!

i'm learning that in order to eat dinner (me, not olivia) before 10pm, i need to make ahead. like while olivia's in school kind of ahead. even that won't guarantee anything, but at least i won't be STARTING to cook at 7:45pm after she's in bed. today i'm making beef tips with rice and broccoli and it's a recipe that requires being in the oven for three hours. SCORE. and olivia even EATS THIS. wahoo!!

speaking of eating, my little audrey bean is having a tough go. she went back to the pediatrician yesterday (visit number 7 in less than four weeks) and was diagnosed with GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). her symptoms are freaking TEXTBOOK (frequent vomiting, persistent wheezing, difficulty/crying out while eating, gas, abdominal pain, severe hiccups) so i'm not sure why it even took this long, but whatever. we know now.

she was already on nutramigen, but the doctor switched her to alimentum since some babies respond better to the subtle difference in the formulas. she's also on zantac now. we sent a stool sample off to check for bacteria and if it comes back positive and/or she doesn't respond to the new regimen, they'll switch her to neocate and refer us to a gi specialist.

i'm hoping this does the trick. she seems to be a bit better already. sleeping quietly and breathing easier (she was sleeping very fitfully before and holding her breath, crying out, etc.) so that's good.

she's also continuing to gain weight throughout this, so that's awesome! little monkey is up to 9lbs 10oz! love that girl!!

it's going by so fast!

2011-06-08T08:59:00.001-04:00

poor audrey... you don't even have a baby book yet. but don't feel too badly. your big sister has one and it's mostly empty. most of olivia's big milestones are recorded here. lame, i know.

so let's keep the tradition alive! woot!

audrey will be four weeks old tomorrow. FOUR WEEKS!! what thaa?? she's had FIVE visits to the pediatrician already. her tummy, like olivia's, said hell to the NO to regular common-folk formula. she's on nutramigen. and we are in the middle of fighting it out with insurance to have it covered. sigh.

otherwise, she is awesome. she's 9lb, 4oz, little chub! she's officially out of newborn diapers. ;)

she can lift her head and hold it steady very well for short periods of time, which is a huge departure from big sis. olivia was completely lazy town on all of this stuff. she didn't want to lift her head, she didn't want to roll over or sit up or CRAWL. she was like, "f it. come to me, bitches."

audrey spits up. a LOT. which is also new for us. she spits up after every. single. feeding. but that's ok, because SHE IS A GOOD SLEEPER!!!! and now watch for the the dark clouds to roll in and lightning to strike me dead. whatever.

she's had a pretty good stretch of sleeping MOST of the night. going down between 8-10pm and sleeping until around 4am. waking to eat only once and she'd sleep for who KNOWS how much longer, but the megaphone better known as olivia wakes up at 6am SHARP, PEOPLE and lets the world know about it.

sorry baby ahjee.

we also had newborn photos taken a few weeks ago. olivia was not a willing participant so there are NO adorable sister shots. zero. but here are some adorable other shots:

and LOOK at olivia's face here... little stinker...

all photos by crista acosta photography

SHE'S HERE!

2011-05-26T11:07:00.000-04:00

well, she arrived two weeks ago. i've been a little busy! olivia did finally respond when we asked her if she was getting a brother or sister... and she was spot on. BABY SISTER!!!

audrey elizabeth arrived on may 12 at 2:17pm and it was incredible. i only pushed for 17 minutes and she was born with no drama. just joy. seven pounds, fifteen ounces. nineteen and a half inches long. just incredible.

we love her so much.

38 weeks. this ride is almost over.

2011-05-04T12:43:00.000-04:00

yesterday i had my last regular ob appointment - maybe ever. probably ever. i'm 2cm dilated and the baby is head down and waaaaaay active (tell me something i don't know!). heart rate is in the 140s. my cervix is soft, but still pretty long and omg the internal? YEOUCH. my b/p is great.

they estimate this bean at seven pounds. which is surprising because olivia was 8lbs, 10oz. i know this baby will be born at least four days earlier than her (induction is scheduled for 39w1d and she was born 39w5d), but i can't imagine a seven pound baby. that seems teeny! i'm not complaining; i'm just not getting my hopes up for that. ;)

this is me at 38 weeks pregnant with our beloved "carlos" as tom has been calling him/her since our very first ultrasound:

that looks like a bigger-than-seven-pounds baby, doesn't it? ;)

then i went back through the notes from my pregnancy with olivia. yes, i have notes. shut it. in my opinion, i DEFINITELY look bigger this time. here i am at 38 weeks pregnant with our beloved bean:

and guess what? they estimated olivia at six pounds at my 38 week appointment.

i hope they aren't off by TWO POUNDS this time!

carlos, we cannot wait to meet you. we are all so so so excited to have you join our family. we ask olivia all the time if you are her baby brother or sister. she completely ignores us. please give her a couple of days. i'm sure she'll come around. :) we love you! not long now!!!

i got da pride in my ride...

2011-05-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

ok, so she isn't potty trained. in fact, putting her on the potty at school caused a twenty minute meltdown so we backed away sloooowly. :) she'll only be 22 months on friday, so i'm not pushing her. she still has interest at home on her little bjorn potty chair, so we'll just see where it leads.

in other news... we DID get a new (to us... it's a 2009) minivan! i know we are the biggests dorks around. i know. everyone hates minivans and i'm not even sure why? i mean, are you trying to hide the fact that you have kids? because pssst, everyone KNOWS YOU HAVE THEM. this thing is a freaking family dream. there are nine MILLION storage compartments, seven passenger seating that is a piece of freakin cake to get to... and the third row is a REAL third row. with reclining seats. 60/40 split and still the trunk area even with those seats up? is ENORMOUS. there are 8 cup holders... IN THE FRONT SEATS ALONE. why do *i* need 8 cup holders? whatever! i'll take them!

we're really so happy with it. and olivia thinks it's a fort. she loves to just walk around in it and sit in all the seats. adorbs.

mah swagger wagon.

peepees in the pot-tay!

2011-04-26T10:49:00.000-04:00

ok, so not yet. but olivia has started showing a FAREEL interest in the potty. she runs to the bathroom and asks to go potty... she's sat on it quite a bit lately and while she hasn't actually produced anything YET, we're taking it as a good sign.

so we've told daycare to go ahead and start putting her on during the day. EEEEE! of course this all comes 17 days before her younger sibling's scheduled arrival. i'm not expecting big success just due to all the chaos that's about to rock her little world, but i figured if she's interested, i'm not going to hold off. who knows? she's surprised us before!

and oooooh would mommy and daddy be happy to update our budget to only include ONE child in diapers!!! maybe we CAN afford that new minivan. HA.

oh and for anyone who's reading... this is what the first day back to school is like after a long weekend:

but once she remembered that she's now riding in her car seat FORWARD FACING (yes, i finally caved...) she was READY TO GO (the entire car ride i hear, "wheeee! woo hoo! yay!!!!" from her. so cute.):

yep. there are TWO car seats in the back of my car now. insanity!!!

almost time!

2011-04-20T22:04:00.000-04:00

36 weeks today.

as ready as i am to meet this bean, this pregnancy has FLOWN by for me. i've been pregnant since AUGUST but it doesn't feel so long to me. i guess when you're chasing a crazy toddler around you are distracted. :)

i think we're ready. ish. we have three weeks until my scheduled induction. the room is just about done (missing a rug, but that'll come after we know if it's a boy or girl!), clothes are washed, diapers are stocked, bouncy seat and swing are up from the basement, clean and ready to go... formula is purchased, bottles are washed. i still need a few little things like binkies and nipples for the bottles - those are important, ha!

the double stroller is just WAITING for its second occupant! the carseat is being installed tomorrow. EEEEEE!

and i've gotten THE most important thing... a new, giant diaper bag:

yum. it's the skip hop studio. i can't wait for it to get here!!!

and finally, i am obsessed with smoothies. i ALMOST made tom go out at 9pm tonight to get me one, but thought MAAAAYBE i had some ingredients in the house. all those bags of frozen fruit i tried on olivia turned out NOT to be an epic fail! i made one tonight and it was delicious!

i see many more homemade smoothies in my future. YAY!

words = she haz 'em

2011-03-28T22:54:00.001-04:00

olivia is a late-talker, in my opinion. you know, with all my vast parenting experience. i am clearly an expert on these matters.

anyway, until very recently she didn't really say much. don't get me wrong, girlfriend is VOCAL. always has been. but more of a secret robot language than anything decipherable as english.

the new words and phrases are coming like crazy now, just like my friends said they would. i can't keep up, but i'm going to try because SOMEDAY i will transfer this stuff to her woefully empty baby book.

here are the latest, in no particular order (and their translations, if necessary):

"i yuv you!"
"mah-mee"
"dah-deeeee"
"kitty? whey ah you?" (wait a moment, then) "i oh know!" (i don't know!)
"hun tah? ah you?" (insert a variety of names here...)
"hun tah!!!" (she thinks EVERYONE she sees is hunter. she ADORES him.)
"pah pah" (purple)
"yeh yow" (yellow)
"boo" (blue)
"oh nooooo!"
"boo booooo" me: olivia, do you have a boo boo? olivia: yeah (ALWAYS followed by her pointing to some fake boo boo that needs kissing.)
"i see it!"
"yaaaay!"
"wheeeeee!"
"potty!" (yes, it's a potty. no, she doesn't do anything other than sit on it occasionally.)
"no no!" (her friend noah)
"kee kee!" (her friend kaitlyn)
"milk"
"wa wa" (water, obvs)
"cheer-ohs"
"ceer-oh" (not to be confused with cheer-ohs, ceer-oh means cereal aka oatmeal)
"out DIE!" (where she always wants to be: outside)
"teeth!"
"eyes"
"ears"
"nose"
"toes"
"hyman" (SIMON! OUR CAT.)
"keh yee" (keli, our other cat.)
"max" (auntie heather's dog)
"poops" (sigh.)

there are so many more. she has a ton of animal noises, probably most of them? and makes a monster face and growls if you ask her for it.

2.0 is trying to kick his or her way out of me. this kid has got to weigh 19 lbs. 33 weeks this week. OMG.

spring fever!

2011-03-18T10:44:00.000-04:00

olivia got to use her cozy coupe outside for the first time since she got it at christmas yesterday. let's just say it was a HUGE hit.

so much so that she did not want to come inside for dinner. or ever, for that matter...

march madness

2011-03-14T10:17:00.000-04:00

finally almost all of the snow is gone. FINALLY. i took olivia for a stroll on saturday and we were both GIDDY over the fresh air and the impending time change. there is still a glimmer of light left at 6:30pm now and it's only going to get better.

it's crazy to me how sunshine honestly changes the mood in this house. we're all so much cheerier, optimistic and just HAPPIER. yay!

SIDE NOTE: OMG i just looked out the window and it's FLURRYING. ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME, MOTHER NATURE!!?!??!?!?!

ok, choosing to ignore that. REJECTING THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW. BACK TO THE HAPPY PLACE.

...and, of course, that means it's springy springtime people. almost 31 weeks here. getting close to 2.0 time! i got the bookcase painted over the weekend and all that's left of the "big" projects is to paint the tall dresser for beanie bean's room and do the switcheroo. then i can get down to the business of washing teeny baby clothes and blankets and squeeeeeeing with delight. ahem.

and FINALLY, it's TOURNAMENT TIME!!! shock of all shocks, the huskies reclaimed the title we haven't had in what feels like FOREVA... big east champs!!! insanity. olivia was supah excited.

bring on the big dance.
bring on the warm weather.
bring on... the baby? well, in about 8 weeks, please. :)

updates

2011-03-01T10:06:00.000-05:00

so i'm trying to get ready for this new bean. it's march 1 today. meaning thank GOD spring is on its way because like everyone else in new england, i want to MURDER winter.

i seriously am wondering if the snow will be gone by the time the baby is born. IN MAY. cripes.

we've done a lot of work on 2.0's room. i wish i had more pictures, but i'll post them when we're through. i will say that both olivia and tom approve. in fact, i think they both like this room better than their own.

olivia in 2.0's crib:

she thinks it's hers. along with the glider and everything else in the room.

so far we've painted -- i used benjamin moore's natura paint in shaker beige and OMG while this paint is very spendy, it's FANTASTIC. the room was previously a terra cotta color and i didn't even use a primer because i wanted to stay 0% VOC. i only needed two coats of this paint and it was good. LOVE.

put together the new crib -- what a difference from livie's dainty classic white dropside to a stationary rail lifetime style convertible in ebony! i love them both, but BOY is it different!

ordered a nice, new mattress (since livie's staying in her own crib and will eventually need to keep her mattress for her toddler bed anyway)

and put together a new glider in beige and ebony. it's not as dreamy as olivia's but we're on a budget, people! it's just fine. and i'm happy we were able to get another glider at all.

next up is to transform the closet into something that utilizes the space more appropriately for an infant. one hanging rack doesn't really do much for me, so we're going to use the closetmaid storage system we have in olivia's closet and set up multiple racks and shelves for storage. woot!

i also have to paint a tall chest of drawers to move into olivia's room and move her current dresser (which doubles as a changing table) into the baby's room. the dresser is white and i contemplated painting it black, but thought a) i'm too lazy and b) a little white might look nice so i'm just switching out the silver knobs for black ones and maybe that'll work! i also am painting a tall bookcase black to have in that room, too.

oh yeah, so far the color scheme is beige, white and black with pops of green. if 2.0 is a boy, we'll run with the green and if she's a girl, pinkification will be in full effect. i'm really loving the way it's coming along so far.

and FINALLY, i'm trying to get more organized. i've found the most amazing website and today she's listed a BUNCH of awesome links to help us all get our butts in gear and get our homes de-cluttered. i thought i'd share for the 1 reader i may still have... ENJOY:

Link-tastic from I'm an Organizing Junkie

23 weekies = GIGANTOR

2011-01-20T09:45:00.001-05:00

so what do we think? am i carrying differently or WHAT this time!?!?

the picture on the left is 2.0 and on the right is olivia. both at 23 weeks. YOWZA.

some other highlights... my rings came OFF by 23 weeks with olivia and still are fitting decently now. to be fair, my wedding band was sized up 1/4 because nine months post partum w/ livie, i almost had to have my finger amputated trying to get it on and i was tired of waiting. they both are still spinning and fitting ok despite my (to me) MUCH larger belly. i do weigh less than i did with livie, but seriously? that belly!

in other crazy news, in my hospital at least, the new kid is now considered VIABLE. they consider 23 weeks viable. insanity. while i'm happy and grateful to have made to this milestone, do NOT take that as a cue to be born, giant baby. for like, at least 15 more weeks. your room? a hot mess still. your crib? well, it's picked out, but not purchased. your dresser? still in use by your big sister. aka: NOT READY.

speaking of big sister, she does seem to have had a little language explosion. she's still not talking TOO much, but she repeats us now, which is cute. she has a lot more animal sounds, her two favorites being BAAAAAAAAAA and NEIGGGGGH NEIGGGGGHHHH at the top of her little lungs.

she can climb up on the couch herself while chanting, "up! up! up!" and does all the hand gestures for itsy bitsy spider and then promptly yells, "YAY! MORE!" after you finish singing.

we sing that song a. lot.

did i ever update on the amniotic situation? everything looks great now. PHEW. baby is breech. whatevs. i can't control that. do what you must, little bean. we'll figure it out.

the trouble-making second child at 22 weeks:

my pelvis is already busting in half but it pales in comparison to the sciatica. OMG. i have fallen a few times and now have to wear a HOT back brace whenever i'm walking to keep myself from just crumpling to the floor in pain. oh tiny children, how you wreck my body.

i love you beasties so much.

18 months old!

2011-01-11T10:53:00.001-05:00

she celebrated by having her little tub ducky give his mama a kiss.

for the first time EVER IN LIFE ( i know this sounds dramatic, but it's a big f'ing deal in this house), olivia's ears were clear at a doctor's appointment. not even any fluid. NOTHING. i believe the words were, "PERFECT."

YAY, TUBES!!! i mean, i hated having to do them. and i hated the 4 infections that followed. and i hated the goop and that the drops didn't work and that the ORAL antibiotics didn't work and then... different drops... MIRACLE!!! wahoo!

anyway.

here are her stats:

she is in the 93rd percentile for height (what up, bean stalk?!) at 2'9.5" tall. she's going to be taller than me by age five.

she's in the 60th percentile for weight at 24lbs 15oz. i'm surprised she even weighs that much on her self-imposed all-fruit-all-the-time diet.

her head is 18 1/2 inches and puts her in the 64th percentile. the doctor is very happy with her growth chart, so yay!

the doctor is not at all concerned with her speech at this point. while we were chatting, olivia was playing with my iphone and having a full on conversation with nobody (in olivia language) complete with hand gesturing and the doctor said not to worry, that the words were On. The. Way. she shows that she understands us, can follow simple commands (if she feels like it), points to objects we ask about and signs. she knows all her body parts and can make two (ish) animal sounds (neigh for horse and roar for lion). only about 6-8 words (mama, dada, yay, no, yeah, and more -- does TA DA!!!! count?) <-- that was from my notes as of last week. she's since learned "up" and "car" and can i tell you MY MOM WOULD BE SO PROUD OF HER ACCENT.

"CAHHHHHHH!"

hee.

as we were leaving the doc said, "OK, see you in four months!" and i was like, "um isn't her next appointment at age two?" and she goes, "not for olivia, for the new one!" FOUR MONTHS. YIKES!!!

speaking of the new kid, we have an ultrasound on thursday to recheck my amniotic fluid. i hope everything looks good. HEAR THAT, CARLOS!?

what day is it?

2010-12-29T13:56:00.002-05:00

the last six weeks have been SO INSANE. i just finished a work project that had me literally up for 38 hours at a TIME and 2.0 definitely got pissy about it. High blood pressure, low amniotic fluid... YIKES.

i am ~~happy~~ GRATEFUL to report that things are looking good for our second kiddo despite my horrifying lack of care. sigh. here's a peek at our olivia look-a-like at our 18 week ultrasound:

they look like twins, don't they?? chubby cheeked goodness up in here! and a wave! we have to go back in two weeks to have another look at the fluid to make sure everything's ok there. seriously. what is UP with my kids and amniotic fluid? olivia nearly killed herself by pooping in hers and INHALING IT and this one? just decided, "ya know what? i'm all set w/o it." um, no, dear. you actually REALLY NEED IT. sigh.

and speaking of insanity, somehow, today i am TWENTY WEEKS PREGNANT. halfway through. already.

i don't know what's crazier... that i'm halfway through cooking this bean or that my shower curtain is STILL WRINKLY two-and-a-half years post-hanging.

we still don't know if this is a boy or girl... waiting till birth date! but we each have our guesses. i think it's a boy and tom thinks it's another girl. people assume we (or at least tom) WANTS a boy because we already have a girl, but honestly, we don't even care. sisters would be great. brother and sister? also great. we still don't have names picked out. not even a girl name. or a single thing done to prepare for this baby. i mean, we know which room will be the nursery, but it's still currently an office. it needs to be emptied, painted, furnished, etc.

we decided to leave olivia in her crib and get a new one for the baby. she's not currently showing any signs of wanting out and to be honest? i'd like to keep her safely tucked behind bars as long as she'll allow it. i'm sure the day after we set up this new crib and throw the receipt away, she'll scale her crib and escape. that's our girl.

OK, so this pregnancy vs. last one... in some ways they are very similar. and in some, totally different.

same: no morning sickness, i think i'm carrying very similarly, pubic bone separating agony.

not the same: no bleeding this time at all, WAY more tired in the second tri (but that is likely due to stress and ya know, a toddler), this baby is way less active than olivia was at this point, food aversions in the first tri (chicken = gag), with olivia i was all about mac n cheese... this baby wants BEEF. specifically cheeseburgers. olivia was mostly in the 160s for heart rate and this one varies: 140-160. not that it makes a bit of difference!

ahhh yes, i mentioned the pubic bone of doom. i think i made it to about 30 weeks before it was painful last time. i started having trouble walking/standing at 19 weeks this time. i have a physical therapy appointment scheduled for next week that i hope brings some relief, but we'll see.

ok, that's all for now. the beastie is sleeping. god, i hope this new kid takes after his/her sister in the sleep department. PLEASE!!!

me likey

2010-11-23T12:06:00.000-05:00

first of all, i love this blog. let's just get that right out of the way. i hope i can muster up enough energy (courage???) to try about, oh, EVERYTHING she makes.

one of TDC's favorite tools is the silhouette cutter and omg i want one. you can make SO MUCH AWESOME STUFF.

and guess what? she's hosting a giveaway! i'm all over this... you should get up on it, too!

enter to win one (and if you win, i will die from jealousy).

and if you don't win, you'll still thank me for introducing you to thrifty decor chick. AWE. SOME.

more olivia

2010-11-21T10:14:00.000-05:00

parent/teacher conferences were last week at olivia's school. i want to write this down so i don't forget (meaning so when i get around to FINALLY updating her baby book, i'll have this all in one place):

11/19/10 teacher comments:

olivia has given us such joy of the past months in our first steps classroom. it has been so much fun to watch her learn and watch her personality develop. olivia loves to help and tries to help wash the table , throw trash out or put toys away. she is always eager to try new sensory experiences, and her fine motor skills have really strengthened as she's enjoyed coloring with crayons and markers. she is growing into a very sweet, energetic toddler and we look forward to watching her master more new skills!

stuff she does:

attempts new words (yeah, well, when you only have like four words, this is good)
follows simple directions
tries to sing
waves and says bye-bye (she's just waving at this point. no bye-byes yet)
points to named objects
points to body parts (head, hair, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, belly, hands and feet)
responds to "look" and "no" (um, what do you mean by RESPONDS? because when we say "no" she laughs and continues on her merry way. i guess that is a response.)
puts simple puzzles together
looks at pictures during story (girlfriend LOVES books. she will sit still for 10 books)
shows hand preference (righty. boo.)
builds block towers (and immediately smashes them with a fiendish laugh)
enjoys new tactile experiences
marks with crayon, marker or paintbrush
responds to music (yeah, that's an understatement)
marches and uses rhythm instruments
sings along w/ adults (i have got to get this on video)
recognizes loud and soft sounds (well until recently, it was only loud sounds, but i hope the tubes change this!)
holds crayon/marker in fist
eats with a spoon/fork (both)
climbs (oh this is BRAND new... she can climb onto the couch. when will she escape from her crib? NEVER I HOPE)
kneels
kicks and rolls a ball (she loves balls. kicking is her fave. much to the delight of her soccer-obsessed father)
stoops to pick up objects
walks up and down stairs holding hands (i've never seen her walk downstairs even holding hands, but if school says she can, i will buy it)
imitates adult actions (she copies our bedtime routing with her baby doll)
carries and hugs doll or stuffed animal (baby and biggie, her pug, are the LOVES of her life. they get hugs, kisses, wrapped in blankies, naps, baths...)
shows empathy (hugs crying friends)
shows desire to help adults (loves to help clean up)
recognizes animals (show me the dog, the pig, the cat, the duck)
makes animal sounds (she can roar like a lion or dinosaur and moo so far. HEY I'M WORKING ON IT)
plays with water
smells flowers (this is new and SO FREAKIN CUTE)
watches shadows
attempts to put shoes on (and socks)
pulls pants up (she TRIES)
puts on hat (sometimes)
feeds self
throws trash away (if asked)
knows own cubby (OMG, HOW ADORABLE IS THAT?)
acknowledges new visitors in classroom (probably by crying and running for her teacher)
finds self in mirro or picture

stuff she's NOT doing yet:

speaks words clearly (there are a few)
uses two word phrases (i guess signing "more, please" doesn't count)
names items while pointing (are we seeing the trend here?)
recognizes own artwork

smartie pants! or is it smarty?

lotsa stuff!

2010-11-20T16:08:00.000-05:00

my poor little bean had tubes put in her ears yesterday. we had a rough morning and afternoon due to a pesky fever, but nothing a little motrin/tylenol couldn't wipe out. she's back to her old, crazy self today!

as is evidenced by the following photo. can i just say what a TROOPER my nephew is? he's nine and SO OVER going to see santa at the freaking mall, but he put up with it in an attempt to show olivia it was AWESOME AND COOL to get a picture with santa.

let's see how that all turned out:

she loved it. obvs. i can't stop laughing. over that OR this:

hunter had a little girlfriend (IN THIRD GRADE) and she broke up with him in the EVENT that justin beiber should show interest in her.

other cool things about olivia bean:

she dances and points her finger
she does the whole "i've got my eye on you" gesture with pointing to her eyes then your eyes and back again
a new tooth! little jack-o-lantern
has an "innocent" heart murmur. wtf? also, boo.
says hi! bye! and ba-pa ba-pa (backpack! backpack!)
keeps her shit together better for surgery than either of her parents.

second trimester!!!

2010-11-13T10:34:00.000-05:00

hurrah! i'm officially, by all counts, in the second trimester. wow, i have to say, this pregnancy is going by a MILLION times faster than the bean's.

and to celebrate, blogger allowed me to upload a photo! enjoy my chubbeh belleh!

i have no idea if this is possible but...

2010-11-11T15:05:00.000-05:00

i *think* i just felt the baby kick. CRAZYTOWN.

wow, regardless, i forgot how much i love this. i'm so f'ing lucky.

13w1d:

OK, well i WAS going to post a pic, but blogger is being a dick. oh well.

holiday card time!

2010-11-10T14:07:00.001-05:00

we had olivia's photos taken a few weeks ago and i now have them in my hands... mwa, ha, haaaaaaaaaaa! which means, YAY! time to create our holiday card!! i had such a blast doing this last year (the quality was fantastic) and am excited to head back over to shutterfly for this year's designs!

have you SEEN the selection of holiday cards this year? i'm seriously giddy over these. i've already mocked up about ten different cards. it was SO difficult to choose; i can't wait to send out our favorite design!

and i'm hoping my sister-in-law hooks us up with another wall calendar at christmas... it's become a bit of a tradition and i love having them to look at throughout the year. i love seeing how olivia's grown over the past year.

and sigh... check out these christmas invitations... now if i can only find the time to host a party...

Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly… sign up: http://bit.ly/sfly2010

miss olivia has some things she'd like to share...

2010-11-08T11:41:00.001-05:00

she's 16 months old!!! and freakin hilarious. she loves to gather objects in anything she can get her hands on... her halloween pumpkin, my LV clutch (which makes her daddy very nervous for her future taste in brands), shopping bags, shoe boxes... you name it, she's collecting.
she was baptised yesterday (and i cannot WAIT to show pictures. she was so adorable in her puffy white dress, i can't even take it. CANNOT!).
she's having surgery to put tubes in her ears in a couple of weeks. boo. but we think it's the best option at this point for her poor sweet ears.
she's going to be a big sister in may. ;)

olivia would like to introduce her little brother or sister, affectionately known as "carlos" (hello, hangover fans) due to arrive on may 18, 2011. olivia is VERY excited.

so psyched

2010-10-23T10:10:00.000-04:00

tomorrow we are picking THIS up for olivia:

YEAH!!! gotta love craig's list. no way would we shell out $500 for this, but i'll take it at a 75% discount, TYVM!

pumpkin picking later today and here is a sneaky sneak of the AMAZING pics we had taken of liviebeans a few weeks ago w/ crista acosta:

seriously... how could we NOT want to add to our family w/ that beautiful girl around? MORE MORE MORE!!!

Missing summer

2010-09-06T20:41:00.000-04:00

already, but fall means....

TIGHTS!!!!!

still here

2010-09-02T22:34:00.002-04:00

still cute...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2010-08-27T12:14:00.000-04:00

after many months and an ebay transaction gone wrong, i finally have new bedding!

hello lovah....

(west elm links)

yum. can't wait for it to arrive!!!

because i am too lazy to find an actual pen

2010-08-02T08:38:00.002-04:00

for the baby book... olivia is now taking steps! i mean, she's been walking holding our fingers for maybe two months? but she now stands up (without holding on to anything) and will take a few steps before collapsing into a heap.

which is sometimes followed by squeals of delight and clapping, others with a frustrated cry and much fist pounding (hello, daughter of mine) and still others with a little determined face and immediate re-try.

her usual is about two or three steps, but yesterday evening in the yard, she took EIGHT!

she is also officially OFF BOTTLES!!! it feels like a huge victory in theory. she's not even 13 months old and we transitioned pretty easily. yay! i get to put the dishwasher racks away! i get to store all the dr. browns bottles with their 90 million parts away into the basement! hurrah!

yet.

i've just swapped them for born free sippies. which have seven (SEVEN) parts per cup. and, if you keep track, that's ONE MORE PART PER DRINK CONTAINER THAN THE BOTTLE.

so i'm not really saving myself any effort, but still. she's a big girl now! woot! also, these sippies are fantastic. she is rough. like throwing them, banging them, flinging them, hanging them upside down... and they never EVER leak. i love them. eleventy billion parts and all. plus, they come with caps and not many of the sippies I've seen do. WHY!??!!?)

she has four teeth still. and i might be crazy, but my friend was visiting this weekend and mentioned that her top teeth look big (NOT in a jerk way) and i was like whoa. THEY ARE. the seem like grown-up big.

tom and i agreed that we'll provide any cosmetic dentistry necessary if the poor girl has freak teeth. god, i just hope they're straighter than mine were. four years of braces. hell.

things i don't want to forget

2010-07-16T22:28:00.000-04:00

olivia stood up all by herself without holding on to anything two days ago and has been doing it more and more every day! i think walking isn't too far off!
tonight she fed herself some yogurt from a bowl WITH A SPOON!!!
she can sign "more" and "all done"
she points to the kitties and whispers "kee kee kee kee"
i caved and did a version of sleep training.

she was just writhing around in the glider not falling asleep for hours and it had to stop. neither of us was enjoying it anymore, so i did our normal routine (bath, book, bottle) then rocked her for five minutes and put her in her crib. she immediately stood up and cried, so i'd lay her back down, rub her hair (or pat her back if she rolled over) for a minute and say goodnight and leave.

wait three minutes, go back in, wipe the tears, lay her down, rub her hair or her back, say goodnight and leave.

the first two nights i had to go in three times and the second night she wailed so much i thought she would throw up and *i* cried. but it's gotten easier and tonight, i just finished the bottle, gave her a cuddle and put her right to bed. she rolled over and snuggled her blankie and closed her eyes.

it's like a freakin miracle!

12 month debrief

2010-07-09T10:52:00.000-04:00

liverbeans had her 12-month well-visit yesterday and she is right on track for growth and development! phew. we kept her safe for one whole year. only a lifetime to go!

stats for those who care about such things:

height: 29 3/4 inches 70th percentile (grew two inches since her nine month appointment)
weight: 21 lbs 15 oz 65th percentile (gained to pounds since her nine month appointment)

right where they want her to be.

she also had some SUPER AWESOME shots. ugh. the WORST.

MMR (was a bitch), hep a and one other i can't remember off the top of my head. after that, she had to get a lead test which involves pricking a finger and SQEEZING MASS AMOUNTS of blood out of it while she sat on my lap wailing and reaching out for her daddy, tears and sweat drenching her and me.

as soon as she saw the hello kitty band-aid on her finger, though, she was like OOOOH! and commenced to chewing on it. when we got home, she was clapping in her high chair and started to cry... her little bruised finger hurt when she clapped!

poor beaniepants.

wait, that was a YEAR?!?!

2010-07-06T22:50:00.002-04:00

my sweet girl is one year old today. ONE.

i am too exhausted to talk about it but believe me. there is much to say.

a few quick notes:

she is almost switched over to cow's milk.

she is cruising along furniture so fast that it's only a short matter of time before IT'S ON.

she waves hi and bye bye.

she can feed herself (sippy, bottle and hand feeding. no utensils yet!)

the only "baby" food she has now is fruit mixed with her morning oatmeal. everything else is table food.

she loves veggie burgers.

she also loves herself some MEAT: deli turkey, ground turkey, seasoned chicken.

she has four teeth. two top fronts just busted through this week.

she is on the cusp of needing tubes for her ears. sigh.

she started in the "first steps" room at daycare today. BIG KID!

she loves the water. her tub time is golden.

oh cheerios. her kingdom for a cheerio.

she currently hates cheese. i KNOW. HOW is she related to me???

she now pulls her bows out and tries to re-place them on her head herself.

she also "brushes" her hair.

speaking of, we've got some hair now!

she loves her "kee kees" so much (the cats).

they? notsomuch on the loving her.

she loves books. reading them, eating them.

she gathers all her tub toys and places them in a bucket and then dumps them out. over and over.

she loves balloons.

she laughs the biggest and best laughs i have ever heard.

she hugs us now.

she sleeps on her belly, cuddling her blankie and sticks her little butt up in the air.

she makes life better every day than i ever, EVER thought it could be.

happy first birthday, my miracle. daddy and i love you AS BIG AS THE SKY.

a few olivia tidbits

2010-06-26T09:12:00.001-04:00

she threw a fit this morning. a full out FIT because her milk was too warm. i think? i mean, it's the same temp they give her at daycare, but usually she has room temp at home. i disrupted the routine of the princess by warming her milk. HOW DARE I?
she points to things now: the cats, her binky, her bottle, the tv. cuteness.
her hair is turning the slightest shade of auburn and i couldn't love it more. it's the teeniest little verification that yes, she's actually related to me. her little hint of donohue shining through.
she can crawl up the stairs. all by herself!
she still takes a good, long morning nap. which is why i can handle point one.

i know the cake looks funny daddy, but i sure tried

2010-06-24T13:26:00.000-04:00

father's day was sunday. tom's first. i could have done a much better job celebrating him. i should have. but we were driving home from vermont (for five hours) after a long weekend away and the prep for that trip (and an overseas trip the week before) left me spent.

i left him with olivia at 5:55pm to rush to the grocery store down the street so i could pick up emergency paper towels and formula before they closed at 6.

rushing, rushing, rushing through the day.

as i was driving home, butterfly kisses came on the radio. of course it did. it was father's day for cryin out loud and i should have been expecting it.

i wasn't. i had to pull over, i cried so hard. listening to the words in a whole new way tangled up with all the still-raw emotion of losing my own father. i hadn't even thought of him ONCE that day until then.

i cried with shame that i had forgotten him and that i hadn't done more to celebrate tom. i cried with grief over the reminders of what i no longer have in my life. no more daddy's little girl. no one who remembers putting flowers in MY hair when i was small. no one waiting for me as i got ready to walk down the aisle thinking, "i just feel like i'm losing my baby girl."

and i cried with joy that my daughter, MY baby girl has that. she has someone who loves her more than anything else in his life. probably more than he loves me and that, honestly, is fine with me. someone who wants to keep her safe, to protect her, to teach her about everything in this world. someone who will make her a better person than she'd be without him.

and i forgive myself for forgetting for a minute. because i remember my father every day when i see his freckles looking back at me in the mirror, when i act like i can do everything on my own with no help which makes me INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING, when i get an excited text from my husband who has melted over the fact that our daughter waved goodbye to him at daycare drop off. i see how much he loves her and i remember.

15 years today. i still love and miss you, dad. i always will.

explosion!

2010-06-15T11:09:00.000-04:00

olivia is on the move. quite quickly, i might add. i was on the verge of worrying about her gross motor skills when all of a sudden.... she's a crab crawler!
a week later she's crawling proper unless she's very anxious to get somewhere... then she's crab crawling like a bullet!
on my birthday, i walked in to find her standing in her crib. like, "what? i've been doing this in secret for months."
since then she's clamoring to hold your fingers so she can walk everywhere. every. where.
about a week ago, she decided she will clap. now she claps all the time. happy? clap! tired? clap! want more dinner? clap and yell!
speaking of explosions, she endured her first stomach bug last week. vomit! diarrhea! everywhere! for a week!
RIP adorable light pink and white polka-dotted pb kids rug. you never saw that projectile puke coming. sigh.

well!

2010-05-18T14:41:00.000-04:00

i didn't win the bento contest... BOO! ;) it's fine. i am getting SO many ideas from there and i'm making bentos for tom almost every day still. olivia, watch out. you are IN for it!!!

oh... speaking of olivia, she's TEN MONTHS OLD!! what thaaaa?? we are fareel planning her first birthday party. it's crazy. people who tell you "they grow so fast" are NOT joking. i feel like just yesterday she looked like this:

and now she looks like THIS:

crazy.

she's aaaalmost crawling. she scoots everywhere on her butt. then she'll get up on her hands and knees as if to crawl and most of the time she'll take it a step further and get from her knees to her feet as if she's going to stand up.... and we hold our breath... and she says eff it and sits back down and scoots.

...over to an outlet to try to electrocute herself. i tell her no, danger! and she does this:

am famous chef!

2010-05-03T23:28:00.001-04:00

ok, not really. but i'm in the running to win a bento contest! yay, me! or rather... yay, tom! i've been inspired to make his lunch pretty consistently since i have started following this awesome blog.

olivia has even been taking little flower shaped cheese to daycare. yes, i'm out of control.

my entry is the third one listed. ya know, if you feel like voting for me.

(hint, hint.)

currently we're all being slaughtered by amy and her supah cute trains.

things i love in april...

2010-04-30T10:11:00.001-04:00

dancing with the stahs!
lilacs
the smell of freshly cut grass (yeah, i don't have those killer allergies)
opening the windows
bentos!
warmer weather that hopefully = healthier baby
my new living room furniture!
my new HAIR:

(me in my new hair on the old, red loveseat)

i don't look sick, do i?

2010-04-29T13:44:00.001-04:00

hiding behind that cutie smile are TWO ear infections.

again.

sigh

2010-04-20T22:33:00.000-04:00

she's starting to get independent. ALREADY. i'm supposed to be all happy and proud about this, aren't i? i feel like she'll be leaving for college TOMORROW. sigh.

she wants to feed herself now. spoon feeding by mama equals spitting! AND i KNOW i should be happy about THIS one, but i'm sad. tom and i are both so sad...

she wants to put herself to sleep. no rocking required OR WANTED. she writhes around like a very tiny but very strong alligator until you give up and lay her down with her blankie.

then she promptly rolls onto her belly, grabs her blankie and says, "THANK FREAKIN GOD. I NEED SOME SPACE, PEOPLE!" and falls asleep.

wa.

stats!

2010-04-16T21:20:00.000-04:00

we had olivia's nine month well visit this afternoon and everything looks GOOD!

height: 27 3/4 inches which is WEIRD because that means she's only grown 1/2 inch in three months. dropped from 92nd percentile to 60th for height. maybe she's just accepting her fate as a shorty.

weight: 19lbs 11oz. up three pounds in three months!! my girl loves to eat. it's so obvious that we started solids at six months! 60th percentile for weight.

head: 17 3/4 inches and all I know is that the pedi said it's growing nicely which means so is her brain. so. that's reassuring. haha!

the pedi thinks she will probably skip crawling altogether since she is very, VERY uninterested in being on her belly even long enough to get her knees under her. she's apparently got great muscle tone in her legs and is MUCH happier standing. not that she stands on her own. or pull to sitting on her own. but when you stand her up, she's in heaven. she's just so happy sitting wherever you put her with whatever toys are around. no toys within reach? no problem, she's got feet! no, not to carry her to an out of reach toy. to PLAY with!

she'll get to moving. and when she does, i'll be cursing that i ever wanted to rush it along. :)

and we got the ok to start cheese!

yum!

2010-04-16T11:03:00.001-04:00

i am PROUD, y'all! we have eaten in and HEALTHY all week! tom has even had lunch every single day this week!

in case anyone cares, here was our dinner menu for the week (and olivia's):

sunday:
US: turkey burgers and pasta primavera salad
OLIVIA: crumbled turkey, ditalini cooked in chicken broth, applesauce

monday:
US: (we had a lot of leftover ground turkey) stuffed peppers and salad
OLIVIA: yogurt, peaches, squash, puffs

tuesday:
US: baked potatoes and salad
OLIVIA: green beans, mini pancake, sweet potato and peaches

wednesday:
US: broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken, extra broccoli on side and garlic couscous
OLIVIA: chicken, ditalini cooked in chicken broth, carrots and green beans, yogurt melts

thursday:
US: spinach lasagna rolls and (you guessed it!) salad
OLIVIA: yogurt, green beans, pears and cheerios

tonight:
US: chicken francese and hmmmm maybe A SALAD?! or maybe some sugar snap peas and rice
OLIVIA: she loves her some ditalini, so probably more of that, chicken and apples and mangoes OH and maybe she'll finish up the green beans in the fridge. SCORE!

messing with me

2010-04-15T09:56:00.000-04:00

so, i was going to post yesterday about how stupid i was to even MENTION sleep on here but i was too tired from olivia WAKING UP FOR AN HOUR AT 3AM to do it. sigh.

i need to figure out a new nap schedule, i think. at BWD (beloved work daycare) we had a 40 minute ride to work every morning and she'd nap the whole way there. then she'd take a crapshoot nap at school (anywhere from 20 min to 2 hours) and nap the whole way home.

now that she's at her new place, she's losing both of those car naps and isn't really making it up at daycare yet. that's a lot of sleep to lose, isn't it? almost an hour and a half. do you think she'll figure it out and start consistently taking her second nap at school? she did the whole first week, not not the second and we are paying for it.

she's DYING to go to sleep by the time i pick her up and it's only like 4:30pm. do i let her nap then? and just put her to bed for the night later? she has been going to be at 7pm forever.

AM I READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS?

probably.

what's WITH me today?

2010-04-13T13:00:00.001-04:00

am thinking maybe i should send this to the asshole daycare olivia was at...

Studies have shown that babies who use a walker may actually learn to walk about a month later than those who don't. Walkers allow babies to move around before they are physically ready for it, which can cause unusual movement patterns and delayed muscle control.

Babies learn to walk in part by watching and understanding how their feet and legs move. If a walker has a tray, they can't see what's happening with their lower body and don't get the information they need about their motor development.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends against using walkers not only because they can discourage your child from learning to walk on his own, but also because they can be dangerous. Thousands of babies end up in emergency rooms and doctor's offices from falling down stairs or bumping into furniture while in a walker. Walkers can give parents a false impression that their babies are truly mobile and can control their actions. Some parents even leave their babies alone to navigate their way around the home in a walker.

Exersaucers, as well as door jumpers, are much safer alternatives, but none of these options will help your child learn to walk earlier than usual.

oh hey, no wonder i'm crazy.

2010-04-13T09:57:00.001-04:00

i'm trying to do a lot of "new" things at once. and i just realized it. i'll share them with you, but don't laugh because these are new to me. and they may seem like habit or obvious to you, but they aren't to me so CUT ME SOME SLACK.

flossing every day. i know, gross. i never have flossed and i've always thought it was no big deal. when i was pregnant, the dentist started to make a big deal about it. i still didn't listen. my nephew shamed me (he's 8 and an avid flosser) and i only made a half-assed effort that lasted like four days. but about a month ago my gums started to hurt. HURT. and the idea of flossing still made me cringe because flossing HURTS. i know, i know. do it for a week and it won't hurt or bleed and your gums will feel better. OK, OK! well, i did. and i almost cried it hurt so much. tom bought me some satin floss and it's much better. i am PROUD to say i've been flossing every single day for a full month and i think i'm officially IN THE HABIT! i cannot WAIT for my six month checkup! HOLLA!
exercising. i feel so disgusting. none of my pre-livie clothes really fit me still. i'm only four pounds over the weight i was when i got pregnant, but there was a lot of stress and woe leading up to that pregnancy and let's just say... i ate myself through it. so yeah. i have about 14 total pounds to go to feel like myself again. i started the 30 day shred last week and i'm COMMITTED!
weight watchers. i am a lifetime member, did you know that? i am! i'm a pathetic lifetime member. back on the wagon for about a month now and failing miserably because i haven't recorded a single point. i KNOW i need to do it. i'm still not doing it.
cooking ww friendly meals and purchasing healthier food in general for my family. my daughter eats all organic. i examine every ingredient in everything i feed her. low sugar, few or no preservatives, no pesticides... and tom and i eat garbage. i need to BE a good role model of healthy eating to her. started yesterday and i've planned out and bought meals for a full week. and i'm taking a muti-vitamin finally.
packing lunches for my husband. yeah, i'm not there yet. i bought him a super cute bento box. olivia has one, too. i am hopeful, when it gets here, that i will be able to make lunches.
straightening my hair at least twice a week. BIG, FAT FAIL. (see photo below for horrifying proof. ON EASTER.)
baptising olivia. working on it. what? she's not even a year yet. calm yourselves!
work harder. ugh.
be more organized. DOUBLE UGH.
cleaner house. HIRING A CLEANING LADY.

livie, i hope you have straight hair.

i could go on. i could. i could seriously go on, but i have two overdue thank you notes to write and prescription reimbursements to submit and a conference call to dial into and breakfast to eat (nonfat greek yogurt with berries and honey!) and some yobaby yogurt meals to return to stop and shop because they expired on april THIRD and i bought them YESTERDAY.... yawn.

also? you better appreciate all the time and effort i put into linking the hell out of this post! ;)

a couple of firsts...

2010-04-13T09:21:00.000-04:00

olivia has had some sleep regression issues lately, if you can call them that. she has been sleeping through the night (and by through the night i mean 11 hours) since she was ten weeks old. and i FELT like i never bragged about it. but people always look at you with those eyes, almost TWINKLING at the delight that you must be getting NO SLEEP and HA HA HAAAAA! so when they'd ask, fake-apologetically, "are you getting any sleep?" i'd be like YES! TONS!

i always tempered it with, "...and i'm grateful while it lasts." because i know from friends' experiences that it sometimes doesn't.

well. we had a good run. 8.5 months hit. two teeth broke through and the wheels came off the bus. ok, i'm being dramatic. but DAMN! when you've had six solid months of good sleep and then out of nowhere you're up two and three times a night for EXTENDED AMOUNTS OF TIME you feel like you're careening over a cliff!

she was prescribed a nebulizer around that same time, too. she just doesn't respond to the weaker antibiotics. which totally sucks because i've given her a solid two weeks to fight off sinus infections/ear issues herself and of course, that doesn't work. so we tried amoxicillan. ten days. NADA. now we have sinus infection, fluid in ears and WHEEZING! HOORAY!! so they prescribed a neb and FOURTEEN DAYS of augmentin. which is an ASS KICKER. i have to give her culturelle with it and on a full belly because augmentin kicks ass and takes names. poor livie.

ANYWAY, this tangent is relevant because i thought that contributed to the night waking. and it appears MOM WAS RIGHT!! because a week into the antibiotics and some motrin at night for the teething pain and my girl is (if temporarily) BACK! she's slept through the last three nights.

oh right. the title of this post is "firsts" so let's get to it, shall we?

last night, as tom was getting livie changed for bed he saw it... an unfortunate side effect of the antibiotics. BLOW OUT!! can you believe this is our first blow out in her life? nine months!! so into the tub she went.
she slept until almost SEVEN THIRTY this morning!!!!

and, if you've survived this novel of a post, you are rewarded with cute overload:

i love her. just a teeny bit.

wow

2010-04-11T20:52:00.001-04:00

today is olivia's Out Longer Than In day. today, she has been on the outside longer than she was on the inside. she was born after cooking for 39 weeks and 5 days.

today she is 39 weeks and 6 days old.

(and in love with her daddy)

sounds about right. i felt like i was pregnant forever and now i feel like she's been here forever. as in, i cannot remember my life before she was in it.

to steal a tactic from one of my favorite bloggers, i'll leave you with a quote...

"...now where was i before the day that i first saw your lovely face? now i see it everyday. and i know that i am, i am, i am...

...the luckiest." -ben folds

next installment of the daycare diaries...

2010-04-08T10:03:00.000-04:00

that last post was just too long. i had to break it up. this is better than a soap opera, right?

so olivia went back to my beloved work daycare for two weeks and got lots of love and cuddles from her teachers and old friends. i had this monday off from work so we went to the new school for a visit and she was in heaven.

she played on the floor with all sorts of fabric and crinkle toys and made new friends. her cubbie was all set up with her name and a picture. her spot in the fridge was labeled, her area in the diaper changing station was labeled, her crib was labeled AND EMPTY, there was a huge butterfly on the wall with her name and birthday. AHHHH! i got her crib all ready with sheet and blankie, stocked her up on diaps and wipes, brought some extra clothes for her cubbie. VERY nice.

her first day was tuesday and it went beautifully! they even took pictures of her to show me how well she's playinig with her new friends and this was on her take home sheet:

"Oliva had a wonderful first day. She was all smiles and loves music as she would bounce to the beat. She enjoyed playing on the mat with her new friends and toys. Thank you so much for bringing your beautiful daughter to our school. Have a great night!"

her theme for april is art and artists. this week they learn about renoir, degas and seurat. they listened to stories about museums, painted with paintbrushes, crayons and their piggies, listened to music, felt different fabrics and are practicing holding their bottles for their weekly "self help/life skill" HEE!

I LOVE IT THERE!!!!

more daycare fun!

2010-04-08T09:10:00.001-04:00

remember this post? when i said i loved the new daycare?

welp.

yeah.

not so much.

here's why (and you can think i'm an overprotective idiot mom if you want and if so, you are cordially invited to suck it because i am not paying someone MORE than i paid for any given year of my college tuition to TEXT HER FRIENDS WHILE MY BABY IS UNATTENDED WITH A PROPPED BOTTLE.)

ok, there is that first one. but we won't start there because that wasn't the first thing. we'll save that one for last.
we came in for a visit the week before she started and i noticed that two of the three babies (only three babies in the entire room, remember.) were in walkers. now, i don't know what your personal opinion is on walkers, but i don't like them. in fact, i didn't even know they SOLD them anymore, let alone put them in daycares. i personally find them unhelpful and in some situations dangerous. no, there were no stairs in this room, but still. you can't entertain three babies on your own? you have to CAGE them?? i said nothing.
she mentioned sunscreen and that they'd be going outside soon because of the weather. i said what do you bring the babies who aren't walking yet out in? (our work center brough them out in a buggy or let them sit on a big blanket and play). THE WALKERS. did i mention the UNEVEN CEMENT PATIO? i said, "ok, my husband and i don't feel comfortable with olivia being in a walker." she looked at me like i was crazy and said, "but they help them learn to walk, you know." (that is a lie. but i let it slide.) i replied, "we'd really rather she learn on her own when she's ready." she said, "i'm 53 and i have two grown children. i know what i'm doing." (SERIOUSLY.) i said, (surprisingly calmly) "i am counting on it! but still, our pediatrician doesn't recommend them. so please don't put her in one." she said, "ooooookay (condescendingly -- i thought), whenever you're ready." me: "we won't ever be ready. just please don't put her in a walker."

RED FLAG ALREADY, RIGHT? tom and i thought maybe i was reading too much into her tone because i was all forlorn and distraught about leaving our center, so i let it go. i spoke to our teachers about it and they said they have not heard of a walker in a center in YEARS. ugh.

i was really apprehensive, of course, after that, to bring her. but we finished our time at our center and the staff threw livie a party and made her a huge poster with a poem and pictures and handprints of all of her classmates. it was so sweet. and the director said, "you have a credit in your account. i can reimburse you for it or we can hang on to it for a few weeks. just in case." i laughed, but i kept it there. BACK TO THE NIGHTMARE DAYCARE:

tuesday, her first day. nothing was ready for her. there was a ball pit full of plastic balls in the crib she was to use. nice. otherwise, it was an ok day.
wednesday, second day: i had to pick her up early to go to the doctor because she'd been coughing and wheezing for a few days. turns out she needed a nebulizer. the pedi says to give it every four hours and writes me a note for daycare. i kept her home the rest of the day.
thursday, third day: i bring her in, along with the neb and the note. her teacher gives me a deer in headlights look when i ask about the neb. she gets the director. the director says that they cannot administer the nebulizer. i reply, "but she needs it every four hours. i have a note." she says, "we only administer emergency medication." me: "isn't the inabillity to breathe an emergency?" she says (and this is the director, mind you), "my job is to make your life easier by watching your child, not being her doctor." HOW AM I KEEPING MY COOL? HOW??? i say, "she can't be the only child here with this issue." apparently the other parents come in throughout the day to administer the treatments. i work forty minutes away. i leave her in her room and work from home the rest of the day so i can come in and give her the treatment. i tell them i'll be in at 11:30am and the teacher gives me an exasperated sigh. "that's when the children nap." um, TOO FREAKIN BAD. so they have her waiting for me, in the dark, and tell me i have to give her the treatment in the kitchen.
friday, fourth day: i work from home again because of the neb. when i pick her up in the afternoon, the teacher says i really need to get her on a one nap a day schedule (she's 8.5 months old.) AND on the center schedule because "it's not fair to the other children if they are trying to sleep and she's being loud." i ask what she's doing when they're sleeping. she is sitting alone on the floor in the dark.

LAST STRAW. i am beyond angry. i call around all over town to centers i already know have waiting lists for a year. to centers i know we can't afford. i am desperate. i call one that i don't know the tuition fee, but assume it's totally out of our price range. the director answers and we talk for forty minutes. she is in tears with me as i explain our situation. they're having an open house on saturday and she encourages us to come in. they have a fourteen month wait list for infants, but let's talk.

we go. it's AMAZING. it's a brand new center. the standards for everything are insane. she will learn sign language, spanish, CHINESE. she will take baby yoga. the playground is insane. the teachers immediately make me melt. the director is hugging and loving on olivia the entire time we're there (two hours).

we took the information packets home and looked everything over. it's more than we pay at the horror show, but hi, i am learning that you get what you pay for. so monday morning, i drop olivia off at hell and say, "yep, still on the neb. i'll be back in three hours." and when i get home, i call the new place. say, OMG WE LOVE YOU. she says, "give me an hour to see what i can do with the numbers. i can't imagine that sweet girl going anywhere else!" an hour later she says they can enroll her beginning in two weeks. YAY!!!

i call my old center and they are psyched to take her back for the interim so i go immediately to the shit hole and ask to speak to the director. i tell her it's going to be olivia's last day. she said, "ya gotta do what ya gotta do."

i go into her room and see that there is my girl on the floor in a bouncy seat (that she is ENTIRELY too big for), with her bottle propped up by a blanket while her teacher is standing across the room texting.

i say, "this is olivia's last day," as i start to gather her things. she replies, "yeah, i kinda figured."

SERIOUSLY.

planning!

2010-03-26T11:09:00.000-04:00

yes, i know olivia's birthday is three months away, but i'm willing bet it's going to be here in under a minute. i'm looking for potential invitations now that's i've settled on a theme: GARDEN!

are these adorable OR WHAT???

i definitely have a fave in mind. hee!

2010-03-19T16:28:00.001-04:00

Spring!

cute!

2010-03-16T10:47:00.002-04:00

a preview of the adorable pics my friend danielle took of liviepants last week:

AHHHH

2010-03-11T15:14:00.000-05:00

oh you bet your sweet ass i just ordered this:

oh!

2010-03-08T20:38:00.000-05:00

more to come on this, too, but here's a quick peek at our new slipcovers in the family room!!

sorry, crappy cell pic.

not a great pic, but a pic

2010-03-08T14:16:00.002-05:00

of our supahstah...

milestones...

2010-03-08T10:04:00.000-05:00

not just for olivia! although, the mayor of the munchkin city is eight months old now. well, eight months and two days, to be exact. pics to come, i proooomise! she's still not crawling yet, nor does she look as though she might anytime soon. or ever. no teeth. but lots of dancing, smiling, belly laughs and general cute overload.

also!

five years ago today, i drove through a blizzard to meet tom at a restaurant in greenwich. we hadn't seen each other in almost seven years. we were just meeting to catch up on life and the weather was so awful we almost cancelled. it took me an hour and a half to drive what normally takes 25 minutes.

blizzard on the day we reconnected and a hurricane on our wedding day. what is it with us and the inclimate weather? :)

finally

2010-03-01T15:20:00.000-05:00

we made the (gut wrenching/totally sucky/WA) decision to change livie's daycare situation around the end of january. tom got a new job that is just not conducive to him EVER being able to assist with drop off/pick up and with my travel schedule for work well... that's just not good.

she currently goes to the center AT MY WORK. as in, she's about 250 feet away from me. as in: HEAVEN. i love this place. i love the teachers. they love her. it's bliss. (and i get a discount which: SCORE).

finding a new place in our town was like having a tooth pulled without pain relief. none of them were perfect. all of them were overpriced. SOME of them were appalling.

i was so depressed. i was almost resigned to having an only child and sending her to the ridiculously over-priced center that still didn't provide any food (unlike my very reasonably priced current center which provides breakfast, lunch and snacks for children once they're eating real food).

on a whim, i contacted a center down the street from us and popped in (with liv) for a quick tour. i LOVED it. it's bright, yet cozy. it's clean but not sterile feeling. the teachers don't give me the heebies. it's DOWN THE STREET and it's reasonably priced. AND has a little kid cafeteria where they gather to eat lunch. CUTE OVERLOAD.

so. she starts on march 15. yes, it took me six weeks to give up my current place. i cried when i told them she was leaving. they cried. i've cried SINCE then a few times and i'm still really, really sad we have to leave.

i've been trying to find a gift for her two teachers and finally i found something! i ordered them these and i hope a) they like them and b) they think of olivia and how much we appreciate how they helped me survive going back to work. it's not nearly enough, but it's something, right?

i got them both the top necklace. it has a little silver heart and and little charm that says "always" on it.

ugh. i miss them already. :(

i can't even fathom

2010-02-28T20:53:00.000-05:00

how this family is coping. god. coping doesn't even seem like the right word. they are on the verge of losing their precious baby girl to fucking cancer and my heart ( MY heart and i don't even know them) is breaking.

if you pray, please. please set aside some for layla grace. for her peace. for her family's long road to healing. her parents, her sisters. for their strength. for love to continue to surround them, to help them survive this nightmare.

and at the same time, please take a second to be thankful for every breath you have, for the moments you are lucky enough to share with your families. with your beautiful children. i certainly will.

marsh family, we are sending you our love.

fucking cancer.

oh, i forgot!

2010-02-15T21:27:00.000-05:00

happy valentine's day!!!

seven months, one week and two whole days old!!

impossible

2010-02-15T21:16:00.002-05:00

to go shopping and not come home with a little treat for my girl...

oh janie and jack. thank you for sales.

my girl and her naked feet

2010-02-12T15:38:00.000-05:00

olivia has never met a sock she couldn't houdini her way out of. and her feet... they are positively EDIBLE, but it's 25 degrees outside and well, she really needs those pigs covered.

i've tried every kind of sock imaginable... even the kind with a velcro strap on the ankle to keep them snug and NO DICE. i've tried robeez. no luck.

so we've pulled out the big guns. (no, not duct tape, but so help me that is NEXT)...

she should be the proud little owner of these cutie shoes by next weekend:

and...

courtesy of our new bffs at pediped! to be honest, i liked this pair a lot more because of the darker brown, but hey. i'm on a budget, people.

cross your fingers that this does the trick.

makin over our mudroom...

2010-02-11T15:09:00.000-05:00

i always want to post and i always forget. but i'm going to hold myself to posting about this project. DAMN IT. of course, it would be best to start with pictures of our current mudroom so you can see the makeover from start to finish, but i don't have any so this is whatcha get. it's this or no post. and i want to post more so COME ON.

my inspiration is this droooooooooooooooooooolly samantha set from pottery barn:

but in black. but it's a little out of my price range, unfortunately at $560 for the bench and shelf (no cushion or baskets included). so i did a little research and found this set from overstock for a total of $210 (no cushions or baskets included here either):

so this is what we're going with. i'm not sure i'll get a seat cushion for now, but i'll definitely score some baskets probably at the christmas tree shop or something. i'm also moving our desk down there, and getting some hanging mail organizers and some hooks down low for olivia's stuff (i know. she's a baby. but just yesterday she was five days old in the nicu on a feeding tube and now she's seven months old, 18 pounds and eating me out of house and home. she'll be a big girl by next week.) and an area rug.

i'm also thinking of getting a chalkboard, too, to write miscellaneous notes, but we'll see how much space i have. OH! and a new mat to wipe feet and a big basket for shoes.

i am on a mission to get a FEW projects done in this house this year! this is the first one, painting our front door and getting THAT entryway done is next!

stay tuned... or don't. i wouldn't trust me because i'm the worst updater ever. but i'll try!!!

nearly seven months old. WHAT?!?!?!?

2010-02-02T10:53:00.001-05:00

how did this happen? my teeny, tiny baybay:

got all growed UP:

BIG GIRL CAR SEAT!!

Lord help me.

HI!

2010-01-29T10:55:00.002-05:00

guess what livie did ALL NIGHT??

2010-01-08T08:23:00.003-05:00

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

aw YEAH! my girl is BACK! she guzzled 5oz (bringing her daily total to 21! that is SADLY just under her normal intake) and slept from 7:30pm till 6am this morning! i was all wringing my hands that my good sleeper was GONE FOREVER and then i remembered... she hates to eat and loves to sleep so SCORE!

seriously though. this girl is the chubbiest non-eater eva. my sister's nickname for her is squishy due to the squishable squishy cheeks. but, i am not kidding, she is SO put out about eating. at six months, her normal daily intake is about 24-26oz. and that is even without eating food. fareels. yet i'm guessing she'll tip the scales at 16lbs at LEAST today at her visit.

i'll check back later to verify. oooooh exciting!

*bonus awesome shot of the mohawk!

ah mah gah

2010-01-07T22:40:00.000-05:00

i'm sorry! i've been preoccupied. livie has a double ear infection and tom is complaining about the messy house while wearing gray coors light pajama pants. and while i DO NOT have a picture of THAT, i do have some others:

oh HI! i am adorable and nakies except for my cute NEW BOW!

i know. it's not a christmas picture, but THIS IS:

I GOT PRESENTS!

sophie. nom!

this is what christmas eve looks like in my house:

and in other news, olivia's six month well visit is tomorrow. ok, she's not well so already we FAIL. i've been freaking out about other milestones, too.

here are some things she's "supposed" to be doing, and my comments will follow in blue:

rolling from back to belly and vice versa yeaaaahhh, well THANK GOD she just decided to roll from back to belly like last week. she does it all the time and then promptly pitches a fit because she hates being on her belly. has never rolled from belly to back. that i know of. eva.
sitting unassisted AHHAHAHAHAHA no. not even tripoding (whatever the hell that means).

and a bunch of other stuff according to babycenter.com and i just started ignoring it because hey, she sleeps well so WHATEVER. also? she does this:

i love water!

and a few others to make up for my horrendous lack of posting...

shoppin'

a new superhero... DIAPERHEAD!

and with that, i bid you good night. i need to get some sleep because remember how i said livie was a good sleeper? well that was until the giant ear infection. now she likes to wake up fifty times a night crying, puking and pooping everywhere. oh yes, and sleep only while being rocked. so i have to catch 10 minutes while i can.

wish me luck

2009-12-29T14:35:00.000-05:00

i have christmas pics. I DO. i just have to find the camera cord. i can't find it because i'm a disorganized MESS.

i bought some bins (HAHAHAHAHA like that'll help) and i hope to make good use of them this weekend in my cleaning/organizing extravaganza.

what i need luck for isssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss... tonight i'm making my first batch of baby food for olivia. everything i've read makes it sound SO EASY and hi, let's be honest here: CHEAP. her formula is wicked expensive (hi, olivia? your college fund went to alimentum. sorry!) so this whole cheap-feeding idea? sounds pretty freakin great to me.

so we took a trip to whole foods last night and stocked up on butternut squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, avocado, apples and bananas. i'm inspired since we switched to the happy bellies oatmeal and she's now OMG GIMME MO! she didn't care for pears (me neither, sister), but loves apples and bananas. (we had some earth's best organic fruit jars to start with).

tonight? avocado! can i give her that and oatmeal? that just sounds gross. i don't know. also? when do i start increasing the times of day she gets food? like, for now, she gets a bottle four to five times a day and food also at one of those times (on the weekend, i give it to her with her second feeding, weeknights at dinner/fourth feeding). when do i start giving it to her more?

and add one more reason to the list titled WHY I HATE WORKING because i have to send food to daycare now. so they can feed her. WA! *i* want to feed her food and watch her cute scrunchy faces!

bah.

the crack heard 'round the world...

2009-12-18T11:04:00.001-05:00

ok, or just around my upstairs. olivia was HARMED!

this child has been injured twice in her five months and both times to the head. poor bean.

so, we have this wooden sign with olivia's name on it that my friend brought back for her from tanzania. with me so far? do you see where this is going?

i'm rocking her to sleep last night and that fucking sign FELL off the wall somehow and cracked her (and me) on the head. not the flat part, oh no. the edge. the thin, sharp edge. and not, say, on her forehead, but right along the top of her head. you know, the soft spot. we both scream. she starts bawling.

i called the pedi because it was bedtime and i wasn't sure if i should let her fall asleep or WHAT really to do. (fun fact: the other time she was injured, her NICU nurse dropped a CAN of formula on her head. true story.) they asked if swelling was greater than an inch. no. any dents? no. is she acting normal? i guess? is there any fluid coming out of her ears? no. THANK GOD. any fluid coming out of her nose? not any more than usual. can she move both arms and legs freely? yes. any vomiting? no.

they said it sounds like a scalp injury (it bled. WA.) more than a brain injury (holy shit. brain injury. ugh.) and to put her to bed, but wake her in two hours. she needs to be conscious and alert and moving arms and legs. i'm thinking to myself: ok, how the hell am i supposed to get her back to sleep after that? and then wake her again four hours after that.

they said she needed to be close to us, so i slept on the aerobed in her room last night and will tonight, too.

here's the rundown on our night and morning:

she took a bit of effort to wake up at 10:15 and was finally like WTF PEOPLE??? she went right back down in the crib. no rocking even necessary! i've NEVER put her down without rocking. (i don't want to hear any shit about CIO because i'm not doing it. i don't care and have zero opinions on how anyone else gets their own children to sleep so please do me a favor and zip it.)

i woke her again easily at 2:15 by changing her diaper and she gave me the stink eye, so i figured i'd try rocking before i busted out a bottle (she's been sleeping so well, i am terrified of giving her the idea that OOOH i can start waking back up at 2 for a bednight* snack!) and she zonked out on my shoulder in about 5-6 minutes.

the swelling has gone down quite a bit, too. and the cutest thing... when i woke up this morning, she was just staring at me from her crib with the biggest fool smile like, "MAMA! what are YOU doing here?!?!!"

heart. melt.

*that is what hunter used to ask for before going to bed when he was little. not a midnight snack, a bednight snack.

remember me?

2009-12-16T09:36:00.000-05:00

could she look LESS impressed?

so, apparently when you are five months old, your mom is UNIMPRESSIVE. never mind if she puts you in super cute outfits and let's you sneeze all over her (in my FACE people) and on and on. DADDY is where it's at.

oh, she loves her daddy. she'll laugh like a hyena at him all, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DAH!" over and over. it's actually insanely cute.

also? she hates food. well, let me offer full disclosure. she does have a sinus infection (yeah, the sneezing in my face sounds a bit grosser now, DOESN'T IT?) and is on antibiotics, so maybe that's contributing. but she is a total fake. she whines for my fork and stares us down when we eat... so on her five-month birthday, we started cereal. she did really well the first try. subsequent tries were all huge FAILS. she shut me down hard. every time.

but look, doesn't she look like she WANTS to eat? you'd think so. but you'd be wrong.

yeah, she's staring lovingly at her dad in this picture. of course!!

christmas shopping

2009-11-28T08:44:00.000-05:00

for the bean is WAY more fun for me than it is for her:

um that is called a CURLY FRUFFLE.

oh man. it's not even december. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

thankful

2009-11-26T00:00:00.001-05:00

i thank you for choosing me

to come through unto life to be

a beautiful reflection of his grace

see, i know that a gift so great

is only one god could create

and i'm reminded every time i see your face...

i don't get many things right the first time.

in fact, i am told that a lot.

now i know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls brought me here.

now, where was i before the day that i first saw your lovely face?

now i see it every day. and i know...

that i am, i am, i am

the luckiest.

think they look related?? they are TWINS!

my cup runneth over.

ok, how about meals?

2009-11-21T20:13:00.000-05:00

but first, olivia.

her daycare had a PLAY the other night. A PLAY. she was a squirrel. and i am not kidding. my four month old was a squirrel in her school play. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and mama forgot the camera. idiot.

my friend's daughter is in the same daycare (she was an indian) so she took pics for me. anyway, olivia also got her first "report card" and we got artwork she made. AHHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE IT. she thumb-painted apples on an apple tree. i cannot take it.

ok, so i made a delightful HEALTHY meal tonight. like, whoa. it was lemon chicken and broccoli over garlic couscous. so good.

made even better by my ginormo glass of beaujolais nouveau. ohhhhh i love this time of year.

and?

FUCK YEAH, UCONN! ahem.

things i need to blog about...

2009-11-18T11:02:00.000-05:00

olivia.
cleaning my stupid house.
organization, or rather, my lack thereof and how it's slowly, but definitely driving my husband out of his fool mind.
meal planning.
thanksgiving.

i can address some of this now. let's see... how about OLIVIA?! i am turning into one of those baby-crazed moms and i guess i have to get on board with the fact that this will mostly likely just be a mommy blog now. hey, whatever. i love her. and you know what else i love? BOWS.

hi!

i'm lucky in that olivia is pretty good about bows and cute hats. she generally keeps them on without protest and that is a huge win for me. especially since the other day she was in her swing and fussing and i was ignoring her because she always makes her little eh, eh, eh noises just before she falls asleep. well, i happen to glance over and this is what i see:

help!

NO WONDER SHE WAS FUSSING!! so i did what any responsible parent would do... i laughed so hard i almost choked and then took a picture. of course, i took the headband off after that. poor bean!!

happy saturday

2009-11-14T08:23:00.004-05:00

so i never posted about olivia's four month well visit. she was fantastic and didn't even cry TOO much for her shots. even though her evil mother had dressed her in JEANS so i had to wrangle those up over her puffy, hurting little legs afterwards. ugh. must remember loose, comfy clothing for next time!

stats:

height: 25 1/2 inches which is 92nd percentile

weight: 14 lbs 1.4 oz which is 60th percentile

head circumference: 33rd percentile, i don't remember the number

things she's doing:

ROLLING OVER!!! well, ok, she rolled over twice on 11/8 and hasn't done it since. i think it's because she rolled from back to belly and realize, "oh crap, i HATE being on my belly. this sucks!"
she's loving her play mat. her favorite thing is the little cardinal. well, or else she hates it because she's always swatting it and chewing on it and just generally issuing it a beatdown
still sleeping like a champ. 7pm till 5:30am
eating about 25-27oz a day, still not a big eater, still the grossly expensive and smelly alimentum, but if it ain't broke...
giving me the stink eye when i eat food. i think she's trying to tell me telepathically that she's ready, but i'm not ready for her to be ready and so i'm pretending i don't see it.

things she AIN'T doing:

loving tummytime. she still doesn't push up all that well. i checked the bump message board for babies 3-6 months old and had to close it because i found myself getting all competitive and wondering why some of those children SIT UP UNASSISTED and all of them (it seems) are practically up on all fours and my kid's like, yeah, this is SO NOT HAPPENING.
trying to stand when you hold her up. she will have none of it. the doctor said she's not worried, but we'll keep an eye on it. she kicks just fine, she just doesn't feel like putting any weight on her legs right now, OK???

to help her get more excited about standing, we put her exersaucer/jumper thing together this morning and i thought she was going to catapult herself out of the swing, she looked so excited. they've been putting her in the one at daycare a little bit and say she really likes it, so i suppose it's time!

in other NON-olivia news... hm. there is none. :)

next week's menu!

2009-11-12T13:23:00.000-05:00

tomato-sauced pork chops with garlic green beans
chicken and spinach couscous with glazed carrots
potato and sausage dinner with tomato & okra and crescent rolls
lemon chicken and broccoli with couscous and spinach salad
ham and broccoli pot pie with applesauce

a few side notes:

i have never had okra in my life. i hope it's good.
these are all WW friendly meals, so SCORE!
are you interested in the points values? if so, i'll post them.
wish me luck in making all these because i'm SO TIRED when i get home from work, the last thing i want to do is cook, but i am inspired by this post, so i will remain steadfast!

also, thanksgiving is in two weeks. oy. that is all i have to say about that.

handwritten fun fact friday!

2009-11-06T13:11:00.003-05:00

because i like to copy all my faves.

also, SWOON over these kids, pls.

2009-11-04T11:26:00.000-05:00

OMG. my little livie and her big cousin. think he loves her?

photo by tania sones photography

wow, bitch much?

2009-11-04T11:20:00.000-05:00

am i out of SHAPE. i ran 2.5 miles on monday and i'm in AGONY. that child tore my body to shreds. every morning, it's physically (and mentally, but that's another story...) painful to get out of bed. my feet hurt to walk on, my hips hurt when i walk down the stairs, my back aches. OH MY ACHIN BACK. seriously? i still have sharp, pointy pain in my lower right back that shoots down my leg from before i gave birth. i am hopeful that working out will help all of these improve.

i have to admit, while i was running, it felt AMAZING. i forgot how freakin good doing something good for myself feels. these little snippets of the Old Me pop up now and again and it's like oh HAI, i MISSED you!

not that i don't love my life. seriously, don't get me wrong. tom got me the best anniversary card yesterday (even though it wasn't filled out -- hey, i didn't even GET him one!) and pajama pants from CVS, because it was our "cotton" anniversary. hahahaha -- i love him.

and honestly, how could you be pissy when you get to come home to this every single night:

ok

2009-11-02T11:28:00.007-05:00

i'm getting back to this blog. i've been keeping track of all things olivia in a separate place, but this is just getting too annoying, so here we go. back to this one. i need a blog (and real life, don't EVEN get me started) facelift, but in the meantime, HAPPY HALLOWEEN

these are three of my favorite people in the universe.

i've got a LOT to keep track of and you can suck it if you aren't interested in these topics. hahahaha as if i have even one reader left. oh well. i'll talk to myself.

topic #1: olivia. SHOCKING! she is almost rolling over. shit. i am torn between being so proud and amazed AND depressed because she is just growing so fast. she's 17 weeks already. she has her 4 month well visit (read: MORE SHOTS) on friday. HOW is that possible? look, she's already big enough for her high chair:

ps, that's stretch. her fave giraffe buddy.

topic #2: dinners for the week. look, i'm terrible at planning like, ANYTHING, so the fact that i'm still cooking dinner at least a few times a week is pretty f'ing amazing. this weeks' menu:

tonight: crockpot chicken soup and biscuits
tuesday: ANNIVERSARY DINNER OUT!
wednesday: babyback ribs and camp beans and maybe a salad to balance the FAT
thursday: balsamic pork chops, sweet potato (for me, tom will puke if i make him eat that, so regular baked potato for that PITA), and asparagus
friday: beans and rice, guac, chips
sat: bacon cheddar quiche, hash browns
sun: sausage cheese chowdah, garlic bread

which leads me to topic #3: WORKING OUT. ugh, seeing some pics of me lately is just so depressing. i had that baby SEVENTEEN weeks ago. i feel gross. and most importantly? MY ENGAGEMENT/WEDDING RINGS STILL DON'T FIT. so.

i'm making half of my meals ww friendly (baby steps, y'all), started taking pilates, just signed up for an abs/core class, signed up for a 3.5 mile race on 12/6 and brought my runnin shoes to work today. ENOUGH.

and just for good measure....

fourteen pounds... the weight of the pumpkin, the weight of my daughter and the amount of weight i'd be happy with losing.

it's chilly here today.

2009-10-17T21:31:00.001-04:00

so i decided to use my baby for warmth...

hi, i'm cute!

2009-10-12T21:39:00.003-04:00

LET'S GO GIANTS!

2009-10-09T13:39:00.001-04:00

i'm a cooking fool. also? i miss my baby.

2009-10-06T14:22:00.002-04:00

ok, so THIS week's menu is:

monday: salmon and salad (did not go over well. i mean, i made it correctly, but neither tom nor i are big fish fans so. oh well. i tried.)
tuesday (tonight!): chicken tortilla casserole
wed: baked penne w/ garlic bread
thur: skillet burritos, chips and salsa and sliced cantaloupe
fri: low country stew (it includes shrimp, which i hate, so i may be having leftover tortilla casserole!!)

also, i'm on week two back to work. livie's in daycare and I MISS HER. wa.

wanna know what i'm cooking THIS week?

2009-09-21T08:12:00.002-04:00

of course you do. here you go:

chicken tender fettuccine alfredo with salad and garlic bread
cheddar bacon quiche with crescent rolls and hashbrowns
salsa sirloin salad w/ garlic bread (hi, we LOVE some garlic bread up in here!)
mexican casserole (NOTE: wtf are "chili beans" ???)
pesto pepperoni pizza

last week's meals were a huge success. surprisingly, the spaghetti pie (which sounds horrid) was DELISH. much better reheated for leftovers. i might make another and freeze that bitch ICOE (in case of emergency).

work update: still don't want to go back. shocking, right?

2009-09-19T16:50:00.001-04:00

Chillin out at blue back square

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yes, i'm seriously COOKING!!

2009-09-15T09:27:00.002-04:00

i have never been a fan of cooking. i am not good a meal-planning or keeping a good grocery budget. i spend all day at work hyperventilating over what we'll have for dinner and how i forgot, AGAIN, to take something out of the freezer.

i thought, once i was home on maternity leave, that it'd be easier. it wasn't. hi, did i forget the year and a half that i worked from home and STILL sucked at cooking??? clearly.

so i signed up, on a whim, for e-mealz. it's $1.25 a week for weekly menus. i know, I KNOW. i should be able to do this for myself. for FREE. but i can't, ok?

and so far, it's been a huge success! i have made three, THREE!!! consecutive dinners...

saturday i made barbeque boneless spare ribs w/ a salad. sunday i made creamy bacon cheese tortellini with sliced canteloupe and grilled asparagus. last night i made roast chicken w/ gravy over rice and brown sugar-glazed carrots AND corn muffins.

i fucking made MUFFINS for DINNER!!!!

and tonight we're having easy beans and rice with sliced canteloupe and tortilla chips.

TOMORROW we're having crock pot beef stew, the rest of the corn muffins and a caesar salad. THE NEXT DAY we're having baked spaghetti pie w/ a tossed salad and garlic bread.

and i have ALL of the ingredients to make all of these dinners! I HAVE THEM! because they also provide you with a grocery list. i freakin LOVE this.

also? i so don't want to go back to work. now that i can make dinner, i want to wear an apron and be a stay at home mom. too bad that dream will die in two short weeks. WA.

photo update

2009-09-11T11:11:00.004-04:00

i'm the suckiest blogger ever. sorry. here are some pictures of my TWO MONTH OLD girl to make up for it!!

loving on her baby doll:

go big blue!!!

bonus mohawk shot:

i am a pretty princess:

my little super star!!

2009-07-20T04:16:00.004-04:00

ok, i was going to wait till i could actually post these pictures, but I CAN'T WAIT. please, go check out my little bean on the insanely talented crista acosta's blog.

miss olivia had her first photo shoot on friday and damn if i didn't become addicted to it. i made a promise to this bean when i was pregnant that i would get EXCELLENT newborn photos. i didn't do a good job of choosing a wedding photographer and it still pisses me off to look at our pictures now... that's a day we will never get back and it makes me sad that we have almost no pictures we'd even want to hang in our house (imagine our heads superimposed over a LAKE. i only WISH I WAS KIDDING.) and it's not like the guy came cheap either!

well, livvy's first days are a similar time. we'll never get these little toes, chipmunk cheeks or peach fuzz back and i wanted to make sure we had someone awesome come and take the time and effort to capture her as she is now - and crista NAILED it.

i know i'm her mom, but f you guys... SHE IS ADORABLE.

my loves

2009-07-18T21:41:00.002-04:00

olivia's home!

2009-07-13T18:20:00.003-04:00

well, we are totally scrapping the idea of putting her to bed in her crib from night one. daddy cannot be more than 1 foot away from her without freaking out that she's not breathing. ;)

she is AWESOME and very loud. she is a super squeaky breather.

we love her so much!!!!

SHE'S HEEEEREEEEE!!!!

2009-07-12T08:02:00.000-04:00

i'm SO SORRY i've been mia. i don't have time to post the big, long version, but our baby girl has arrived!!

10:46am, 7/6/09 weighing in at a whopping 8lb, 9.8oz and 21 1/4 inches long... olivia marie burst into our lives and it has been an incredible circus since then.

short version (c/p from an email because i can't write it all out again!):

Just an update...

Olivia was stressed out in some way (we don't know for sure what it was yet -- probably the fact that I was having contractions from Friday until I delivered her on MONDAY) and pretty much pooped in utero. She swallowed some and even though the NICU staff was ready and waiting to suction her upon delivery (they found the meconium when they broke my water, so they knew she was in a bit of trouble) she still breathed a bit of it into her lungs as well. She was VERY sick when she was born.

She's been in the NICU since then and was on oxygen, IV antibiotics and a feeding tube. She lost the IV on Wednesday, since her blood work came back showing she had fought off the infection and just yesterday afternoon came off the oxygen and feeding tube. Now, we are just waiting for her to get stronger. She needs to prove to the doctors that she can maintain her O2 levels steadily even when she's upset (which is whenever you change her diaper or try to bathe her... she's ALREADY HOLDING HER BREATH ON US!!) and that she eats and keeps down enough food to thrive.

We've stopped asking for potential release dates, because she tends to tucker out and need to go back on the oxygen after a bit so we don't want to get our hopes up, but it looks like middle of next week if she continues to do as well as she has been since yesterday.

Wish us luck, if you can spare it. After everything we've gone through to get her here, we certainly weren't expecting our full term nearly 9lb baby to be sick and stuck in the hospital. :(

here is a picture of livvy and daddy after they FREED her from the icky nasal cannula and feeding tube (she is thinking VICTORY IS MINE!!):

wish you were here...

2009-06-24T17:10:00.003-04:00

today marks two big milestones in my life. the subject of this post applies to both and i can represent both of them in the following ridiculous picture.

1) today marks fourteen years since my father was killed in a motorcycle accident (that was his own fault, by the way, but i digress.). six weeks after the accident, twenty-year-old me had the above ridiculous tattoo inked on me for life. the sentiment is awesome, the tattoo? not so much. it's a harley davidson bar and shield (my dad's true love was his bike) with his date of birth, name and date of death.

2) the tattoo is now stretched across my once-upon-a-time-probably-back-when-i-WAS-20-flat-belly that is now gloriously THIRTY EIGHT WEEKS PREGNANT.

i wish my dad was here and i wish bean was here. and a flat belly afterwards wouldn't be so bad either.

oh hell YES.

2009-06-21T08:24:00.002-04:00

that is right. i am excited over a CAMRY. look how SHINY IT IS!!!! and it even has FOUR WHOLE DOORS!!!!

we decided, after finding out that tom's trusty 1999 toyota solara needed a repair that warranted spending about $500 MORE than the trusty 1999 toyota solara was WORTH, that it was time to put her out to pasture. rest easy, ole girl... 201k miles is nothing to be ashamed of.

so we set out to find her successor and landed on this hot piece of a$$... HOW FUNNY THAT I THINK A TOYOTA CAMRY IS A HOT CAR??? i am old. but srsly, i love this car. suck it, infinitis and audis! my heart belongs to this 2007 dream, tentatively named (by hunter, of course), THE SPIDEY MOBILE:

woot!

boo!

2009-06-17T16:00:00.002-04:00

we are almost at the finish line!

missing mom

2009-06-11T12:56:00.004-04:00

a few weeks ago, my sister sent me a cell phone pic of hunter at the beach and i couldn't stop thinking about it. it's so similar to another picture that we have framed in his room of my mother with him at the beach in 2004, except in this new one, he's alone. as though he's aware that she's not next to him.

but, maybe it's that she IS there, but only he knows, so he's quiet and still, just taking it in.

i got that boom boom pow!

2009-05-20T22:48:00.005-04:00

BAM! look at that. i've been very busy cooking this baby. and crying over kris' dramatic win over the over-dramatic adam.

and while we're talking about idol, can i just defend my danny gokey love one time? HE SANG WITH LIONEL RICHIE, PEOPLE. i adore lionel richie. and i also adore almost EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. danny sang this season.

NOT TO MENTION...

he has amazing taste in glasses.

AND

he looks like a mini robert downey jr.

i wish he would take me glasses shopping and sing dancing on the ceiling to me while we look. my glasses are boring.

SERIOUSLY, MOM???

2009-05-15T09:13:00.003-04:00

so yesterday my sister calls and says, "hey, i need a baby picture of you." and i'm like, oh, ok, this must be for some schtick for my baby shower. cute!!

then i think, hm... i'm not sure i HAVE any baby pictures of myself. you know, because those are things your PARENTS GENERALLY HAVE (and we all know my sob story of being an orphan ALL TOO WELL).

ANYWAY. that's not the point of THIS post.

but i of course mention this to my sister and she's like, well, i don't know where your baby book is, but it should have pictures in it. then i remember that i HAVE both of our baby books so SCORE! i ask what age range she needs and she says toddler. ok, fine.

so, i'm going through the baby book last night and it's a trifect of emotions (keep in mind that i'm 8 months pregnant and i have no mother)... i'm over-the-top excited that i'm going to be a mom in a few short weeks. i'm devastated that my own mother won't be here to celebrate this with me and i'm DYING over the RIDICULOUSNESS that is my baby book.

do you want to know what my GRANDPARENTS gave as a gift when i was born?? my grandfather gave: the baby book and TEN DOLLARS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

my grandmother gave a stuffed mouse. a STUFFED MOUSE? WAY TO BREAK THE BANK, MEMERE!!

anyway... so i'm off looking for pictures and there is a little spot for each birthday to write about the day and to add a picture. i shit you not, next to FIVE of the seven picture spots is written: "mommy forgot to buy film for the camera!"

INCLUDING MY FIRST BIRTHDAY!!! i mean, that shit is acceptable after a few kids, even the SECOND kid, but the FIRST CHILD???????? it's not like she didn't know the birthday was COMING.

damn!

so, my sister is getting a picture of me opening a present on christmas of 1977. at age 2 years, 7 months. nevermind that my mother in law has 40 million pictures of my husband from probably every HOUR of his life. you know what? christmas 1977 IS ALL I HAVE, PEOPLE.

at least i got that $10.

2009-04-28T16:22:00.001-04:00

Current temp in CT. Insane!

spring!!

2009-03-28T12:47:00.005-04:00

LOOK WHAT'S IN MY YARD!!!!!!

i know! flowers!!!! i didn't even know those were there. we moved in mid-july and these were already gone by then. HEE! so cute. and of COURSE they are purple, since the lady who lived here before was OBSESSED with purple flowers. but, at least these are fareel purple and not freakin LAVENDAR. gag.

ALSO... i bought a wall quote for above the baby's crib. my camera is circa 2003 and has fewer megapixels than MY CELL PHONE so the quality sucks, but whateva. the first one gives a truer picture of the room color and the phrase is easier to read in the second...

"little angel from above" is the beginning of a lullaby my grandmother used to sing to my mom and that my mom sang to us and then to my nephew when he was tiny. i'm really heartbroken to say that i don't remember all the words and i CANNOT find the lyrics online and that sucks.

i mean, it doesn't suck more than the fact that my mom won't be able to actually rock this grandchild and sing to him or her in real life, but it is what it is. and this little quote is a small shout out to her. this bean will know and love you, mom. i promise.

and bonus! shot of my VERY ENTHUSIASTIC husband. he's moving a rock pile that the last lazy owner left on the side of our patio. he's been at it for three hours already and it doesn't even look like he's touched it. poor bastard.

adventures in I'M A TOTAL SHMUCK.

2009-03-23T15:34:00.001-04:00

i could throw up. SRSLY throw up.

i got a nice letter in the mail about two weeks ago from my state saying, "hey jackass, you failed to file state taxes in 2004 and guess what? YOU OWE US A LOT OF MONEY."

i was like, whaaaaa? with interest and penalties it comes to like five grand.

so, i threw up. then i filed a continuance so i could check and see if their assessment was correct. IT WAS, OF COURSE.

i realized that i didn't file state taxes for the state i worked in, either, that year (worked in one state, lived in another). so i did all the stuff and it turns out THEY owed ME about FOUR thousand dollars!

which is proof that i am not a delinquent tax evader. i clearly somehow just lost my freakin mind and forgot to file state. i mean, i filed federal. HOW did i forget state? but, i was really excited because i could use that 4k to offset the disgusting 5k i owed my state.

i called this afternoon to verify how i should file and guess what? i missed the FUCKING STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS FOR THIS STATE BY A YEAR. so those assholes get to keep MY money, yet i still have to pay the other state.

i CRIED AT WORK. i'm so incredibly pissed at myself. this affects not only me, but my husband, who didn't even KNOW ME THEN.

i hate this. i pretty much hate me today.

swell.

2009-03-16T10:10:00.001-04:00

this is the reason i can officially no longer wear my wedding rings:

latest additions to the ipod

2009-03-13T13:25:00.001-04:00

just thought i'd share my completely SCHIZO taste in music...

heartless ~ kanye west
circus ~ brit brit
lucky ~ jason mraz & colbie caillat
love lockdown ~ kanye west
don't stop believing ~ journey
lovers in japan ~ coldplay
dead and gone ~ t.i. featuring justin timberlake (aka my secret lovah)
you're not sorry (csi remix) ~ TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
how do you sleep ~ jesse mccartney (also: shutee)
thinking of you ~ katy perry
untouched ~ the veronicas
come on get higher ~ matt nathanson
i will be ~ leona lewis (WHICH MAKES ME CRY THINKING OF MY HUSBAND)

seriously, is this list cause for medical intervention????

omg. ps, if you watched the game, this isn't really a good recap.

2009-03-13T09:36:00.003-04:00

i cannot believe i stayed up last night. for those of you who don't know, i attended the university of connecticut (14 thousand years ago). i am OBSESSED (like many, SMART people) with uconn basketball.

you may have heard from time to time that my huskies are GOOD. they were ranked number one in the country twice this season, even though our best defender has been OUT with a torn miniscus for about two months.

well, last night was the quarter finals in the big east tournament. and they played syracuse. WHO IS MY EVEREST.

i love these match ups. i love the rivalry. i do. but what i don't love is that tip off was at 9:35 IN THE NIGHT TIME. come on, people. i am growing a human. i need SLEEP.

but no, i stayed up. i figure, eh, late night. i'll get to bed around 11:30. around 11:45 the game ends up going into overtime.

and double overtime.

and TRIPLE overtime.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!

IT GOES INTO A TOTAL OF SIX OVERTIMES. everyone's fouling out on both sides. people i've never HEARD of are coming in. my guys poop out and LOSE TO FUCKING SYRACUSE AT 1:15 (approximately) IN THE MORNING.

i am delirious today. i'm too fucking exhausted to even be very sad about it. but, SIDE NOTE (this is for you, swistle!!): i had NO IDEA how active the baby is in the middle of the night. does this mimic what will be in store for me in a few months? do the sleep/active cycles follow the pattern they have in utero? I AM IN TROUBLE, IF SO. because it was SOLID FUCKING GOLD in there last night.