pouring.

what a day. it's like 60 degrees, which sucks since hi, it's still august. and we finally cleared out the rest of the storage area. what a day. just when i think we are making progress, you know —
being less like mourning freaks — we have to do something heartbreaking like go through boxes and boxes of clothes and pictures and trinkets and just MOM stuff. like only my mom would keep a dumb wooden ruler from the local newspaper. or receipts from 1997. or 7,000 pens.

but again, only a mom would have every card you've ever given her since you were two. and letters you wrote her from half a world away half a lifetime ago. there are little things, like a note she wrote to me, but never gave me:

Steph,
I've planned on giving you this ring since the day I had you, on your 18th birthday. It's very dear to my heart, just as you are. Please keep it close and everytime you look at it, remember how special you are to Dad and me.
Love, Mom

it was in an empty ring box. the ring was the engagement ring my father gave to her. i don't know what happened to it and honestly, i don't care. this little piece of paper means more to me than some ring. i'll keep it in my wallet forever.

melanie and i looked at a collage frame that was my grandfather's and noticed that more than half the people featured in it are gone. both of our grandparents, both of our parents, our uncle wayne, our aunt kathy, our cousin melissa. it's just such a heavy, sad feeling.

but then melanie found a necklace that used to be mine. i had offered it up to both her and my mom and they fought for hours over it. my mom prevailed. mel took it out of the box, put it on and said, "ha. i always win in the end." hahahaha. i love my sister.