Friday, June 27, 2008

farewell, remaining money

...and so it begins. not only did we buy four gallons of paint: terra cotta for the office, snow drop for our room and some green i can't remember the name of. it's sage-y, for the guest room, but we also bought a washer and dryer! FRONT LOADER!!! yay! and lights for the walkway outside.

tom also bought the world's smallest lawn mower. i imagine it will take him 19 hours to cut the grass on sunday. but he is VERY excited. poor bastard.


i went to the new house (my house, MY NEW HOUSE, did i mention we BOUGHT A HOUSE?!?!) last night to show my sister and nephew around. well, as i'm waiting for them to get there, i hear this beeping noise in the house. three quick beeps.... 2 minute pause.... three quick beeps. wtf? i heard it in the kitchen, but i thought maybe the alarm was on, so i DISARMED it (it YELLS "DISARMED!!!" when you hit the button) and it didn't stop.

so then i thought it was a smoke detector (are any of you remembering the episode of friends where phoebe is haunted by the smoke detector?) and i couldn't find ANYTHING blinking ANYWHERE.

by this time, my sister and nephew were there and we were going crazy over this freaking NOISE. all of a sudden, hunter casually mentions that the fridge isn't closed all the way. my PRECIOUS FRIDGE.

IT WAS THE FRIDGE TELLING ME IT WAS AJAR!! i have never had a talking fridge before! so not only did we feel completely stupid, but i wasted energy for 20 minutes. sigh.

in other news, i picked out paint colors!!!! swatches to come this weekend. I KNOW!


Thursday, June 26, 2008


in our total psychotic excitement on closing day, we ACCIDENTALLY left a bag of garbage in the trunk of my civic. (i meant to throw it out on our way to the walk through.)

we didn't remember it was in there until the next morning.

it had fruit in it.

it was DISGUSTING. and the worst part? we stayed over at the house and there isn't a garbage can there yet (there isn't anything there yet, duh.) so i had to DRIVE TO WORK with the garbage in my trunk. my entire car smelled SO BAD. did i mention it was like 98 degrees (holla nick lachey!) so it just cooked all morning in my trunk. i went out at lunch in hopes of making an illegal dumpster run, but i CHICKENED OUT.

eventually i threw it out at a gas station garbage can. but the smell? she lingered. apparently it LEAKED and my car was so fucking stank.

did i mention that my PILLOW was in the car all day? it PERMEATED MY PILLOW. i may have to throw it away.

did i also mention that the a/c is broken in the civic? oh it was so nice and ripe to drive home. i finally dumped some carpet fresh in the trunk and vaccumed it out and it's ALMOST gone, but dudes, that smell will haunt me for life.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

thirteen years

i got this text message from my sister today:
he has been gone half my life. weird.

our dad was killed in a motorcycle accident thirteen years ago today. june 24, 1995. it's INSANE for me to think that after today, he'll have been gone from my sister's life longer than he was in it. he's been dead HALF A LIFETIME.

as a person who's lost both parents at a relatively young age (mine and theirs), i sometimes have trouble finding any sort of silver lining in the thunderclouds that surround both their deaths. i know, no more suffering. [my father was an alcoholic -- accident was his fault. side note: it still makes my face hot with shame to admit that. my mom was very ill with COPD.] but more often than not, i get lost in the whole "but i was JUST A KID" stuff.

today, though, i can say that even though it's been so long, i still remember his laugh. i still remember the lines on his face when he would laugh. i still feel a small contentment when i hear a harley davidson roar by as if to let me know he's watching and he knows what we've done with our lives. that is nice. it gives me peace and that's really the most you can hope for.

Monday, June 23, 2008

we are homeowners, people!!!


holy shit. it's REALLY HAPPENING!!! we just got our final number for the closing check and we meet at the house for our final walk-through at 4pm.


i am just overwhelmed. it almost feels FOREIGN to be this freakin happy.

carry on with your regularly scheduled mondays whilst i prance around like rainbow fucking BRITE all day!!!!!

hi i own a fucking HOUSE, PEOPLE!!! oh yeah, ps? i'm back from denmark. praise every god imaginable.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

screw you, airlines

i have been in an airport since 3pm yesterday afternoon. my flight from newark was SUPPOSED to leave at 5:4o pm. it didn't leave until AFTER MIDNIGHT.

eight hour flight.

obviously missed my connection at 11am since i didn't land in copenhagen until 2pm. am now waiting for the next flight at 5:30pm to billund.

hello fork? meet my EYEBALL.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

time to jet

i'm leaving tomorrow afternoon for a week in denmark for work. i realize how TOTALLY AWESOME (read: terrifying eight-hour flight and boring two-day meeting complete with salmon "meat" balls. GAG!) this may seem, but it really sucks ass since we close in a week and i've packed... about... NOTHING.

quick example of how prepared i am: i'm not even packed FOR THE TRIP YET. it's TOMORROW. and i'm BLOGGING.

i think i'm in denial or something. whatever. ps? what the fuck do i pack? the weather is supposed to be in the high 50s. yeah, you are totally jealous of this trip, aren't you? oh yeah, and RAINY.
at least my hair won't be a disgusting frizzy mess. oh wait.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

shoes and dna

last night as i was "tidying" up before my sister and nephew came over for a swim, i realized i had 9 --- NINE --- pairs of shoes lying around. granted, many are of the flip flop variety, but still! i picked up six pairs and threw them in the closet. i think tom would have a coronary (did i tell you that once he said, "steph! you're going to give me a cornea!" true story.) if i actually picked up all my crap.

so we're sitting around eating dinner (chicken skewers with onions and red/yellow peppers, potato salad and corn on the cob. YUM!) and my nephew complains about not being able to eat the corn on the cob because he has two loose teeth -- the top front ones. my sister responds that if he would just PULL THEM, this wouldn't be a problem. (well, it would, because he'd have NO teeth, but that's not the point of this story.) he pulls out some crap about not wanting to get his DNA on the corn or something. DNA. HE IS SIX. how the hell does he even know what that is??? oh i asked him.

"auntie. ever hear of a movie i like to call SPIDERMAN!??!"

happy happy joy joy joooy!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

less than two weeks to go!

we found out our mortgage commitment letter is in, so now, hopefully, all we have to do is PACK and WAIT.

ew. packing.

eta... fuck that. i'm going to get a pedicure.

Monday, June 09, 2008

how ya like me NOW?

oooh fancy new template!!! do you think it's too busy? i love orange, but i'm thinking it may induce seizures. wtf do you guys care anyway? most of you are viewing through your reader ANYWAY.

let me know. i'll look for something less obnoxious (maybe) tonight.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Thursday, June 05, 2008


gah! i am never buying another house ever. EVER. this shit is so fucking ANNOYING. i can't take the nit picky back and forth.

here is my last week and a half:

  • inspection last wednesday. house looks great! everything found is small potatoes. yay! but we find out that they want us to put an offer on the shed. the shed that was specifically excluded from the contract. our guess is they thought they could take it and when they realized what a pain in the ass it would be, they wanted to sell it. we said no thanks but if they ripped up the lawn trying to get it out, they'd need to reseed it.
  • friday: oh shit, we have radon in the well water.
  • monday: we ask for every repair noted on inspection AND an aeration radon mitigation system, at the suggestion of our realtor.
  • tuesday: sellers respond with a big fuck you in the form of $1000 credit and you can have the shed. we get pissed, want to tell them to shove the shed up their collective asses. have argument for the ages. decide to respond with three things: mitigation system OR credit in the amount it will cost for us to install it, water pump gauge fix and water heater valve fix. also? fuck your shed. but more nicely.
  • wednesday: they let us stew. all day.
  • thursday afternoon: they respond: pump fixed, valve fixed and credit at closing in the amount it will cost to have the system installed. also? would we like to buy the shed for $2000? SERIOUSLY WITH THE FUCKING SHED!??!?! (apparently it's a $5000+ shed). our immediate response is: SERIOUSLY WITH THE FUCKING SHED!?!?!? but we think we probably will need one at some point ANYWAY. if we say no, will they just leave it for free? should we counter with half that amount? i seriously don't ever want to hear the word "shed" again.
  • and now? we wait.

i am SO TIRED OF THIS. i thought i was going to cry because of the pride of finally owning my very first home. i am going to cry just out of emotional exhaustion and delight when this is finally OVER. i feel like yelling for tom to SWEEP THE LEG, JOHNNY!!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

tick tock tick tock

wait, did i already use this subject title? i am too lazy to check, so i apologize if i did. and i apologize that it's lame either way.

we are still waiting on the asshole seller. apparently there is a plumber at the house THIS VERY MOMENT completing some of the tasks we requested (but were told to f off about, basically) AND his agent said they are going to credit us in the amount it will cost to install the mitigation system. it's not in writing yet, so i'm not getting excited. yesterday was TERRIBLE.

seriously. seller? you better HOPE you don't run into me in whole foods after this is all said and done.

in somewhat better news, i got a new chair at work today! it's SO FANCY. i felt like i DID win the lottery when they brought it over.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

paging all good luck vibes...

shock. sellers are being a total thorn in my EYE.

JUST PAY FOR THE SYSTEM. please. PLEASE don't make me have to convince my husband that we shouldn't walk away from the house because of this.

this, among other unsavory happenings over the last few days really have my insides in knots. i think i may be feeling entitled which ALSO has my stomach in knots (because i HATE entitlement. HATE IT.), but i'm just going to bitch it out and maybe get over myself??

we, as individuals and as a couple, have been through the fucking RINGER in ways i've discussed on here and in ways that are just too private to mention and i think we are DUE for a change in the weather. i don't want to win the fucking lottery. i don't want more than anyone else. i don't want to have things at someone else's expense or that i didn't earn.

PSA: i know that we are incredibly fortunate people. believe me, i do. so PLEASE don't tell me it could be worse. i know it could. i watch extreme makeover home edition. I GET IT.

sellers, please. this house isn't just the pot of gold at the end of the stupid rainbow for me, it is the WHOLE RAINBOW.

note: could i have more analogies here? i sound like a total idiot. i know. i'm just in such a sad, sad state today. if any of you have any good luck vibes to spare, i'd appreciate them. not just for this.