Thursday, January 31, 2008

don't even bother. seriously.

ok, so since i'm now being called out in my comments for laziness, i guess it's time to get back on the horse. though i cannot promise anything of substance. like i ever deliver that anyway!

i almost posted yesterday to let you all know that while i did indeed finally get my kone, i was soo excited to use it that i threw away the box AND THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR CLEANING IT before i read them.

i just decided, out of laziness (NEWS FLASH: i'm lazy), to not empty it. ever. well. that doesn't really work, so i finally googled the dirt devil website. [it's would you believe it?] and downloaded the manual for it. side note: did you know you can download by COLOR of the kone? um, does it perform differently based on it's color? in this day and age, shouldn't our handheld vacuums be color blind???

sorry. anyway, um, all you do is screw off the motor and dump the dirt out. now after rereading this, i remember why i didn't post it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD BE A BORING POST.

i promise to post more tonight after therapy. hahahahaha THAT ought to be fun-filled. oh wait, LOST premieres tonight. yeah, fat chance of me posting tonight, suckers!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


do your teeth HURT after going to the dentist? i don't mean for like a root canal or something painful like that. i mean for a CLEANING???

my teeth HURT. for those of you who've suffered orthodontia, they hurt like tightening braces hurt. all they did was clean them, for crying out loud.

this is NO way to get me to floss. i'm just saying.

also, i'm sorry i've been such a lazy ass about posting for the last week. it's like the opposite of sex. the less you do it, the less likely you are to want to do it. or wait. is that the same as sex?

Monday, January 14, 2008

dirt devil update

i love target.

target, will you be my valentine?

so, i called them and told them my tale of woe fully expecting them to laugh and hang up on me (because that is what i would do.) and the woman put me on hold and then came back, "Oh yes, I have a record of that hand-held being brought over to the service desk, but I don't see it here. Why don't you just bring in your receipt and we'll GIVE YOU A NEW ONE"

(side note: why do i not feel it necessary to use capitalization except when i'm quoting someone? wtf?)

so i hopped over there on saturday and picked up and BROUGHT HOME my new dirt devil KONE. i love it. though they say you can put it anywhere in your house and because it's soooo stylish, it'll fit in.

my husband doesn't really notice house stuff, but he stopped mid-sentence when he returned home saturday to say, "When did we get a megaphone?"

Thursday, January 10, 2008

son of a...

the dirt devil is NOT IN MY CAR. nor is it in my home.

stephanie=0 and PISSED.

waaaait a second...

ok, i am in a possible predicament. yesterday i stopped at target and purchase a dirt devil kone (because i am just that stylish, ok?!) and last night when tom was prattling on about something to do with our Very Nutritious Dinner (boneless buffalo wings and french fries. AND BEER!), i realized i didn't bring the dirt devil in with me.

this morning i took the jeep to work instead of my death mobile so now i'm paranoid about where the dirt devil is. i KNOW i paid for it. i KNOW i put it in my cart. what i cannot remember is whether i left it in the car or if i left it IN THE CART. can you fucking imagine if i left it in cart? merry late christmas, random target shopper! i hope my CREDIT CARD RECEIPT IS IN THERE, TOO!

i'm hoping i just left it in the car, but it would be my luck to just leave it at the store. what an asshole i am.

please make me feel better. tell me you've done something even remotely as stupid.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Sunday, January 06, 2008

it's not only kids...

who are troublesome to photograph. here are my sister-in-law's attempts to photograph tom and me on our first married christmas:

dude, i'm fat
ok, she said in that one, tom was covering my face with his gang signs. she should have said YOUR HIPS LOOK ENORMOUS IN THOSE JEANS. never wear them AGAIN. but she is sweet and would never say that.

however, here's take two: clearly there is a theme here of tom not liking my face.

let's try again:
um, yeah. this one, i will admit, is my fault. OK ONE MORE:

FINALLY! ok i'm through attention whoring for the day.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

saturday morning

just a little serenity now for ya's...

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
— Joseph Campbell

Friday, January 04, 2008

boston fans only!

ha! that is the sign my nephew read (or rather, SHOUTED) to me tonight before going to sleep. we're keeping him overnight tonight for my sis and he sleeps in tom's "man room."

the name is in quotes because it is SO NOT a man room. i promised him when we rented the apartment that the second bedroom could be his man room to decorate as poorly as he'd like with NO INPUT from me. well, life happened (or, more accurately, life stopped) and my mom died. mel and hunter shacked up with us for a while and the man room became their room.

once they flew the coop, i promised yet again to give him the room. well, then we got engaged so it became "the wedding crap room" -- nothing manly about that. ok, wedding came and went, but then CHRISTMAS came and it transformed into wedding-crap-we-need-to-get-rid-of SLASH christmas-presents-and-wrapping-paper room. complete with a closet full of piece-of-shit-crinoline and balled-up-wedding-gown.

it also has a futon that doubles as hunter's bed when we keep him overnight, so there is a toybox and a bookshelf filled with our books and hunter's books.

the only stuff that sort of even makes the room even slightly resemble a "man room" is the panoramic framed print of fenway during the 2004 ring ceremony, a 2007 world series parking sign and a book with a cover reading................ BOSTON FANS ONLY!!!

by the way, did i mention hunter is learning how to read? it is completely insane to watch him SOUND OUT WORDS and. like, READ. READING, i said. i don't understand how it makes me so ridiculously proud and incredulous to watch him learn this skill. he read two books to us tonight:
  • where are the dogsharks? (side note: what the fuck is a dogshark? way to confuse a level one reader with a MADE UP ANIMAL)
  • bug stew (dudes, he completely housed this one and i thought he would have trouble. HE KNEW BUMBLEBEES! that is a long-ass word.

ok, i'm going to say what you're all thinking. if this kid is my nephew, i'm going to be one obnoxious mother when i have my own kids.

if i have time to teach them to read between all the wine fetching they'll have to do. chores are good for kids, right?!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

who else is sick?

am i the only one who is on antibiotics for the second time in six weeks? just checking. did i mention that both times are for TEN DAYS? at least the first time (double ear infection and sinus infection) it was just one pill a day. this time (strep throat) it's one pill TWICE a day. what the hell? between that, my vitamin and the several thousand advil i ingest to combat minor aches and pains, i'm a bonafide Pill Popper.

not excited about this. i'm also not excited that i don't have anything better to blog about today. 2008 has not started off as the Year of the Blog for me. but i am adding to my very short list of resolutions to blog at least five times a week.

so far, so boring. maybe i should try to make the blog WORTH reading five times a week.

ugh. pill time.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

making it in just under the wire... (east coast time)

hope 2008 is better than the weather in CT right now.