SERIOUSLY, MOM???

so yesterday my sister calls and says, "hey, i need a baby picture of you." and i'm like, oh, ok, this must be for some schtick for my baby shower. cute!!

then i think, hm... i'm not sure i HAVE any baby pictures of myself. you know, because those are things your PARENTS GENERALLY HAVE (and we all know my sob story of being an orphan ALL TOO WELL).

ANYWAY. that's not the point of THIS post.

but i of course mention this to my sister and she's like, well, i don't know where your baby book is, but it should have pictures in it. then i remember that i HAVE both of our baby books so SCORE! i ask what age range she needs and she says toddler. ok, fine.

so, i'm going through the baby book last night and it's a trifect of emotions (keep in mind that i'm 8 months pregnant and i have no mother)... i'm over-the-top excited that i'm going to be a mom in a few short weeks. i'm devastated that my own mother won't be here to celebrate this with me and i'm DYING over the RIDICULOUSNESS that is my baby book.

do you want to know what my GRANDPARENTS gave as a gift when i was born?? my grandfather gave: the baby book and TEN DOLLARS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

my grandmother gave a stuffed mouse. a STUFFED MOUSE? WAY TO BREAK THE BANK, MEMERE!!

anyway... so i'm off looking for pictures and there is a little spot for each birthday to write about the day and to add a picture. i shit you not, next to FIVE of the seven picture spots is written: "mommy forgot to buy film for the camera!"

INCLUDING MY FIRST BIRTHDAY!!! i mean, that shit is acceptable after a few kids, even the SECOND kid, but the FIRST CHILD???????? it's not like she didn't know the birthday was COMING.

damn!

so, my sister is getting a picture of me opening a present on christmas of 1977. at age 2 years, 7 months. nevermind that my mother in law has 40 million pictures of my husband from probably every HOUR of his life. you know what? christmas 1977 IS ALL I HAVE, PEOPLE.

at least i got that $10.