IMPATIENT!!

we ordered this delightful media console over a WEEK ago and it's still not in! wtf, pier one!?

do you NOT want me to buy all my holiday decor at your store?

NO?

FINE. I'LL GLADLY GO TO TARGET!

(maybe on sunday. with jen. my target cohort.)

about the bangs...

guys, i know you are all waiting for the bangs pix and BELIEVE ME, i want to give you the pix, but the weather here SINCE THURSDAY (when i got them) has been a rainy, humid MESS.

my hair + wet = YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

i have worn a little barrette holding them back since i got them because the frizz is TOO MUCH. i think the weather is supposed to be better tomorrow, so i PROMISE i'll get a picture uploaded.

you all will be disappointed. i think they're too long and need them a bit shorter.

NEVER HAPPY!

hello, free bag...

i totally stole this idea from erica, but I HAD TO!!!

free

purse

people.


GO ENTER TO WIN, now!!! :)

just a typical day at the office...

storm troopers just randomly patrolling the building. YES, this is a PERSON. NOT a statue. there are three of them just wandering around. i noticed them first in the parking lot but couldn't get a good pic, so when i went down to the lobby for coffee, i snapped some.

they are sort of intimidating!!!!

listen

i know i owe you pics. i'll post them when i get some, but don't get too excited. they aren't that awesome.

i am watching hope floats. do NOT hate. i freaking LOVE this movie in an insane way. i loved it even before my mother died. it makes me cry every. single. time. i love how it shows the strength of family. of hope.

beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad... it's the middle that counts.

god, i know i sound like a loser and NO, i am not drinking.

i might even love it as much as i love love actually. well... maybe not, but it's CLOSE.

and shut up about my stupid chick flick infatuation.

it is LOVE.

my cup runneth over.

perfect weather

to work at the big e! i'm co-running the booth for work from 3:30-9:30pm and I *hope* the biggest effort will be to make sure children don't eat or steal the product.

can i tell you i have lived in new england almost my ENTIRE LIFE and have never been to the big e? SRSLY! apparently there is a LOT (oh tessie i hope you're reading this because you will FLY HERE just for this list) of food to be consumed.


ETA: the stupid table listing all the food vendors f'ed up my margins so i'll just have to REPORT BACK with all that i ate whilst working today.

in other news, i got BANGS! (no, not BANGED, pervs.) i'll post a pic of me in my super cute big e work shirt and my NEW HAIR before i leave. in this glorious monsoon.

hard to get back to it

i'm OUT of the blog habit so it's difficult to get back to it. i'm shameful. sigh. so here's my Latest Lame Update!!

this morning we had the electrician FINALLY come to install a socket and circuit (or some such nonsense) for the radon mitigation system that was PAINSTAKINGLY installed like two months ago. i'd link to the post about it, but i don't want to bore you to death before you finish THIS boring post.

apparently there is water in the basement. um. there was no such water when we moved in or for the month and a half afterwards and believe you me, we had SEVERAL rainstorms during that time period. i have deduced it is from the installation of the mitigation system. um, mr. installation guy? yeah, you better get yo ass back and fix that!

what else? i started pilates. hi, i am SO OUT OF SHAPE. it's embarrassing. also? humiliating.

oooh and i'm getting my hair cut tonight. i'm thinking of making A Change. tune in tomorrow for pics!!!

world's best blogger wasn't available...

so yeah, i suck, BUT i have a michael scott mouse pad, so SUCK IT! i also bought tom a WORLD'S BEST BOSS mug for work since all of his employees pretty much hate him.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

let's see, well... not too much else has been going on here in the last few weeks. it's finally fall so i got to put mums out on my front step! whee! um. what else?

cottage weekend 2008 was saturday and jeff brought an OFFICIAL beerpong table. like seriously. and also? he's 33.

i'll post more about that when cronin's lazy ass sends me some pics.

more random photos

here is one of the hanging flower plants i've been trying not to kill for the last two months:

so far, so good. there are even yellow flowers on this bitch now too!

here's one of my latest painting projects... the "accent wall" in my living room:

don't mind the random walmart light in the middle of the floor. I COULDN'T SEE, OK?!

post-painting photoshoot with simon:

we look worn out, don't we?

hunter's FIRST SOCCER PRACTICE!!! (you have NO IDEA what this means to my husband. NO IDEA!!!)

he even KICKED THE BALL, PEOPLE!!!

ok, i have more of our trip to fenway on sunday, but i'm too damn tired now and shut up, i know these aren't formatted right, but i'm TIRED!

aw cutiepants

i FINALLY found the cord to my camera. all you get for now is a pic of us at my friend andy's wedding on the fourth of july in winter park, co.

CHECK OUT THE SCENERY! it was amazing!

tough day at the office...

hunter came to work w/ me today. so far i've built a car and a bulldozer. workin hard, peeps.

what we do with the prospect of monday morning off...

he falls asleep at 8:45pm and i have wine. GLORIOUS WINE!

follow up to big perm freakout

i have purchased SEVERAL antidotes to the total woof head i have been cursed with for the better part of a year.

including, but not limited to:

• sedu xti wikkid awesome hairdryer to the STAHS! [i love you for this one, danse!]
• bed head control freak shampoo and conditioner
• bed head spoil me spray which is supposed to accomplish the following: Smoothes hair instantly. Anti-static defrizzer. A second day restyler with hydrating conditioning results. Gives hair a light, moveable hold. [mostly i bought these because after smelling 49 anti-frizz shampoos, hunter and i thought these smelled the best]
• paul mitchell slick works which has SO MANY alleged benefits, i have to link to them all [my hair diva, bryan, suggested this. he said my hair "LOVES THIS PRODUCT!"]

i will carefully launder, dry and style my hair tomorrow and post a picture. you guys tell me if all this shit is working or not. HAPPY SUNDAY. I HAVE TOMORROW OFF, SUCKERS!!!

HOW COULD I FORGET

HAAHHAHAHAHA five bad brothahs from the beantown land!


i puffy heart youtube, you suckaaaaaa PEACE!

oh hot damn

this is my jam!

ok, let's talk about random, ridiculous pop songs that i cannot. get. ENOUGH. of.

ummmmm jesse mccartney much? wtf? HOW do i like this kid? i don't know, but i LOVE this song. sigh. it's embarrassing. even for a new kids fan.

AND my friend (won ton, you know who you are, you bastard) is SERIOUSLY hating on this chris brown jam that i could fold 10 loads of laundry to! it's me and chris foreva!

anyway. tgif,
right kids?!

update:

• garage door opener is shiny and new, complete with a new remote! WOOT!
• the couch cannot be repaired so they are exchanging it for a new one! WOOT!
• the radon water guys are STILL HERE. since 8:30am! no end in sight. but at least my water won't be poisonous anymore. woot?

come one, come all!

i am working from home today because i'm watching hunter. camp ended last week and he still has two weeks until school starts, so my sister has expertly set up a world tour of babysitters for the next two weeks. i was tagged in today. so, it was the perfect day for ALL of the house work we needed to have done...

• the radon mitigation system is being installed today. they have to vent it out 12 inches ABOVE my roof!! wtf!?
• the garage door repair guy is here. GREAT NEWS! the opener is FRIED! he thinks it was HIT BY LIGHTNING. um. WHAT!? anyway... that's an unexpected three hundred bucks to replace it. WHEE! there goes my leather coffee table/ottoman set. SIGH.
• raymour & i deliver RIPPED LOVESEATs er, i mean flanigan is coming to repair my loveseat.

they are the only ones not clogging up my driveway currently. thank god for extra lego sets to keep hunter busy while i deal with all these people. oh yeah... AND TRY TO GET WORK DONE!

oh.. doorbell. couch repair?

UCONN AWESOMENESS

ooooh she is on her way!!

oh i cannot WAIT to meet you, sedu xti!!!!

woot!

hi, could i be ANY MORE self promotional? shauna over at pickles&dimes got her PiF gift from me and SHE LIKES IT, SHE REALLY LIKES IT!

aw, what a nice thing to read on a sucky monday! now go and enter her contest! win treats!!!!

do my ears deceive me???

ok, is this actually JONATHAN KNIGHT with a lead vocal??? nkotb-ers... listen to this clip and tell me if you hear him. i think it's him! i think i'm in the VAST majority that favored jon.

ugh. i am so pissed i didn't get tickets. stupid home buying getting in the way of IMPORTANT LIFE EVENTS.

this just in: i accidentally put that link into a WORK WEB PAGE!! whoops. i don't think my work's target audience is really concerned with nkotb's new SONG! (i mean, they SHOULD be, but...)

what up, big perm?

look, i need help. in a SERIOUS way. my hair? NIGHTMARE. TOTAL NIGHTMARE.

once upon a time i had a fabulous hair dryer. i'm talkin' the Be All and End All. but... two weeks before my wedding, i DROPPED it and it busted.

i went to bbb and bought some two-bit $40 hair dryer and i've looked like a singed gerbil ever since.

let me break it down for yous... i have frizzy hair. WICKED frizzy. it's curly, but i straighten it every day and don't even start with the whole "oh it's frizzy because you color and straighten it and why can't you just be footloose and fancy free and natural" because THAT IS NOT HAPPENING. so get it out of your head. on occasion, i let it airdry. it doesn't help. it dries all wonky and looks like bed head (and not sexy bedhead) and dready and whilst i love me some dreadlocks, they just aren't MY best look. so i straighten. NOT WITH A IRON. i straighten with a lovely, giant round brush.

and i color. and that won't stop, either. i am thirty-three, people, and it's just necessary.

i've never had trouble with gross frizz nastiness POST hair dry until my beloved dryer broke, so i must assume that the new crap one is at least 85% at fault. the other 15% could be product-related. so i ask you this... what kind of hair dryer is THE BEST? i mean, THE ABSOLUTE BEST. i am willing to part with cash over this if it promises to work. also, what hair products do you use for STRAIGHTENING and DEFRIZZIFYING?

lay it on me. i'm a straight up MESS these days. every day with the pony tail/knot. every. single. day. and it's STILL frizzing out. ugh, i have to stop talking about it.

yeah vermont!

one of like 8 fish tom caught this week. i *think* this is a large mouth bass. i actually caught a small mouth. FAREEL! I CAUGHT A FISH!! we don't keep them. strictly catch and release. aaaaaaaaand, most of our vacay was a washout, but it was still pretty great. alas, we are home now so i will FINALLY and BELATEDLY (read: extra guilt gifts!!) send out the gifts to the VERY patient pickles&dimes! don't worry, shauna, it's not a mounted bass.

...OR IS IT!?!?

we have a winnah!!!

drumroll, pleeeeease! the winner of my very first contest in LIFE issssss: PICKLES & DIMES!!!! thanks to tessie, i used the super high-tech method of random.org and got: #9. yay for shauna!!

shauna, you will be receiving an email from me ANY MOMENT to get your deets so i can send you your fabulous (and as of yet, UNKNOWN) treats!!

and with that? VACATION!

contest ends today!

at four o'clock, i think? then i will scour swistle's site (UNLESS SOMEONE WANTS TO TELL ME IN A COMMENT?!?!) to figure out how to use the random number generator to choose a winner and that is, quite frankly, a LOT of work for the friday before vacation.

INDIGNANT!

also, do you see what not eating DOES TO ME?? what a BITCH i am. my co-workers are warning me not to get into a "slimfast rage" -- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ps, you don't NEED to blog to enter the contest. i don't give a tiny rat's ass, becky. you are still entered, LIKE IT OR NOT. DAMN!

pif amendment

i'm ending the contest on friday at 4pm. because i want to send out the present on saturday before i leave for vacation. YEAH VACATION!!!!!! we're going to vermont w/ tom's parents. ok, not WITH them, but we're meeting them there. ahhhhh no cell service and long days at the lake. (w/ wine, OBVS!)

noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

no, no, no, NO!

DAMN IT!

ok fine, i'm in!

i could always use a little extra good ju ju, so i'm participating in swistle's pay it forward contest. i'm honestly not EXACTLY sure (hi, skimmer here) what the rules are supposed to be, but whatever.

here's the set-up:

• i have a new front door.
• i do not like the color it is currently painted.
• for your reference: said door.

here's what you do:

• decide what color YOU think we should paint the door.
• let me know in the comments.
• i'll randomly choose a comment (HOWEVER I WANT TO) and send you a prize!!!!
• ETA: deadline for submitting guesses (comment so becky doesn't win by DEFAULT!) is friday, july 18 at 4pm eastern, suckers).

easy peasy, right?! ok, then, COMMENT AWAY!!

side note: happy birthday, tom!!! xoxo

flip mode

i'm flippin it on ya. i'm going to pull a fun fact MONDAY edition, since i have a lot of RANDOM stuff.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand GO!

• after all the cat madness, the vet didn't end up giving them softpaws. he said it's a lot of maintainence and that i should try feliway first. FINE. i had to order it, since they didn't have it in stock there. also? they want me to BRUSH the cats' TEETH. yeah, i'll get right on that, you loon.
• we brought the cats over to the house friday night, thinking it would be less traumatic to move them before the movers came. we initially decided to keep them in the basement (it's semi-finished, RELAX!) but when simon jumped up INTO the ceiling due to exposed insulation down there, we had to re-think this option. so, they ended up in the office for the night. they have since taken full ownership of the entire house (minus the basement).
• the move went well on saturday. the movers were like MAGICIANS or something because they were NOT big guys, yet one of them moved my loveseat BY HIMSELF. down TWO FLIGHTS of stairs. WTF!?
• i can't figure out how to hook up my fucking cable. so listen, we "upgraded" to an lcd hang-on-the-wall thing, which is OBVS HD and OBVS nothing i've ever had before. so instead of hooking up my regularly scheduled dvr/digital cable/surround sound, i have this new fangled hdtv with an hdmi or whateverthehellit'scalled cable, and another red/blue/green cable and ANOTHER red/white/yellow cable, though the DIRECTIONS call for red/silver and WHAT THE HELL, i don't HAVE one of those, and also the actual cable. or COAXIAL as the geeks call it. whatever. it doesn't work. AND while i was able to hook up my cable modem, MY WIRELESS WON'T WORK. i'm so over technology.
• i bought two hanging flowers for the deck and my husband ACTUALLY threatened me if i don't take care of them because they were expensive. YOU HAVE PROOF now if i end up missing. show the police this, please.
• we got our new front loading lg washer/dryer and they are so space-age, i'm afraid to use them. i just turn them on and off and listen to the little song they play. again with the techno-phobia. (did i mention that i work on the WORLD WIDE WEB for a living? i really should be better at the tech shit. whatever.)
• speaking of the internets, in a show of solidarity for one of my fave bloggers, erica, i'm going to join her fast. JOIN! JOIN!
• what else? oh yeah, VACATION IN FIVE DAYS. hello, vermont wilderness.

how crazy am i?

FUN NEW GAME!

• painting three bedrooms in two days
• flying to denver for 5 days a week before moving
• working two jobs the entire week before the move
• packing an entire apartment at night in four days

aaaaand the kicker? bringing BOTH cats to the vet two nights before moving day. those bastards claw the shit out of everything INCLUDING my WALLS, so we're having nail caps put on their front claws tonight. you TECHNICALLY can do this yourself, but i value my life so i'm having the vet do it. relax, peta freaks, it's NOT GOING TO HURT THEM.

i just hope it doesn't take 40 hours to get them done tonight because hi, i have SHIT TO DO (see above).

also, what color caps should we get? simon is a boy and keli is a girl. if it helps, he is an annoying, clingy, lovable mush and she is a straight up bitch. CHOOSE!

ETA: they are NOT to make the cats LOOK better, because i clearly don't care about that. it's so they don't rip my new house to shreds.

i'm baaaack

well, i have been back since monday morning at two AM! i am taking a quick break from packing to say KILL ME NOW.

denver was great. it's really as beautiful as on tv. well, technically i was in winter park. get off my ass, i'll post pics as soon as i dig out of the boxes.

...which won't be until next CHRISTMAS.

hot, sweaty mess

ugh, you guys. i have my very own tuesday rant and rave:

rave: i just found two AWESOME accent chairs for my living room at MARSHALL'S of all places for $40 APIECE!

rant: ok, i drive a honda civic, so you can imagine it took some houdini-ing to get those bastids in there. it's also upwards of 90 degrees outside. my a/c is also, coincidentally, BROKEN.


i had to come back to work. i SWEAT THROUGH MY SHIRT.

luckily, i stopped at old navy and picked up a cutie-pie navy sleeveless button-down to change into, but still. gross. what does it look like? oh i'd show you, but there ISN'T A PICTURE ON THE DAMN WEBSITE.

AND ANOTHER THING! i took a picture of the super-terrific chairs and my phone WON'T LET ME SEND IT. fucker.


ETA: HERE IT IS! (i bought two.)

farewell, remaining money

...and so it begins. not only did we buy four gallons of paint: terra cotta for the office, snow drop for our room and some green i can't remember the name of. it's sage-y, for the guest room, but we also bought a washer and dryer! FRONT LOADER!!! yay! and lights for the walkway outside.

tom also bought the world's smallest lawn mower. i imagine it will take him 19 hours to cut the grass on sunday. but he is VERY excited. poor bastard.

idiot

i went to the new house (my house, MY NEW HOUSE, did i mention we BOUGHT A HOUSE?!?!) last night to show my sister and nephew around. well, as i'm waiting for them to get there, i hear this beeping noise in the house. three quick beeps.... 2 minute pause.... three quick beeps. wtf? i heard it in the kitchen, but i thought maybe the alarm was on, so i DISARMED it (it YELLS "DISARMED!!!" when you hit the button) and it didn't stop.

so then i thought it was a smoke detector (are any of you remembering the episode of friends where phoebe is haunted by the smoke detector?) and i couldn't find ANYTHING blinking ANYWHERE.

by this time, my sister and nephew were there and we were going crazy over this freaking NOISE. all of a sudden, hunter casually mentions that the fridge isn't closed all the way. my PRECIOUS FRIDGE.

IT WAS THE FRIDGE TELLING ME IT WAS AJAR!! i have never had a talking fridge before! so not only did we feel completely stupid, but i wasted energy for 20 minutes. sigh.

in other news, i picked out paint colors!!!! swatches to come this weekend. I KNOW!

SO EXCITING!

stankonia

in our total psychotic excitement on closing day, we ACCIDENTALLY left a bag of garbage in the trunk of my civic. (i meant to throw it out on our way to the walk through.)

we didn't remember it was in there until the next morning.

it had fruit in it.

it was DISGUSTING. and the worst part? we stayed over at the house and there isn't a garbage can there yet (there isn't anything there yet, duh.) so i had to DRIVE TO WORK with the garbage in my trunk. my entire car smelled SO BAD. did i mention it was like 98 degrees (holla nick lachey!) so it just cooked all morning in my trunk. i went out at lunch in hopes of making an illegal dumpster run, but i CHICKENED OUT.

eventually i threw it out at a gas station garbage can. but the smell? she lingered. apparently it LEAKED and my car was so fucking stank.

did i mention that my PILLOW was in the car all day? it PERMEATED MY PILLOW. i may have to throw it away.

did i also mention that the a/c is broken in the civic? oh it was so nice and ripe to drive home. i finally dumped some carpet fresh in the trunk and vaccumed it out and it's ALMOST gone, but dudes, that smell will haunt me for life.

thirteen years

i got this text message from my sister today:

he has been gone half my life. weird.

our dad was killed in a motorcycle accident thirteen years ago today. june 24, 1995. it's INSANE for me to think that after today, he'll have been gone from my sister's life longer than he was in it. he's been dead HALF A LIFETIME.

as a person who's lost both parents at a relatively young age (mine and theirs), i sometimes have trouble finding any sort of silver lining in the thunderclouds that surround both their deaths. i know, no more suffering. [my father was an alcoholic -- accident was his fault. side note: it still makes my face hot with shame to admit that. my mom was very ill with COPD.] but more often than not, i get lost in the whole "but i was JUST A KID" stuff.

today, though, i can say that even though it's been so long, i still remember his laugh. i still remember the lines on his face when he would laugh. i still feel a small contentment when i hear a harley davidson roar by as if to let me know he's watching and he knows what we've done with our lives. that is nice. it gives me peace and that's really the most you can hope for.

we are homeowners, people!!!

SERIOUSLY!!!!

holy shit. it's REALLY HAPPENING!!! we just got our final number for the closing check and we meet at the house for our final walk-through at 4pm.

TODAY!!!!

i am just overwhelmed. it almost feels FOREIGN to be this freakin happy.

carry on with your regularly scheduled mondays whilst i prance around like rainbow fucking BRITE all day!!!!!

oh yeah, ps? i'm back from denmark. praise every god imaginable.

screw you, airlines

i have been in an airport since 3pm yesterday afternoon. my flight from newark was SUPPOSED to leave at 5:4o pm. it didn't leave until AFTER MIDNIGHT.

eight hour flight.

obviously missed my connection at 11am since i didn't land in copenhagen until 2pm. am now waiting for the next flight at 5:30pm to billund.

hello fork? meet my EYEBALL.

time to jet

i'm leaving tomorrow afternoon for a week in denmark for work. i realize how TOTALLY AWESOME (read: terrifying eight-hour flight and boring two-day meeting complete with salmon "meat" balls. GAG!) this may seem, but it really sucks ass since we close in a week and i've packed... about... NOTHING.

quick example of how prepared i am: i'm not even packed FOR THE TRIP YET. it's TOMORROW. and i'm BLOGGING.

i think i'm in denial or something. whatever. ps? what the fuck do i pack? the weather is supposed to be in the high 50s. yeah, you are totally jealous of this trip, aren't you? oh yeah, and RAINY.

at least my hair won't be a disgusting frizzy mess. oh wait.

shoes and dna

last night as i was "tidying" up before my sister and nephew came over for a swim, i realized i had 9 --- NINE --- pairs of shoes lying around. granted, many are of the flip flop variety, but still! i picked up six pairs and threw them in the closet. i think tom would have a coronary (did i tell you that once he said, "steph! you're going to give me a cornea!" true story.) if i actually picked up all my crap.

so we're sitting around eating dinner (chicken skewers with onions and red/yellow peppers, potato salad and corn on the cob. YUM!) and my nephew complains about not being able to eat the corn on the cob because he has two loose teeth -- the top front ones. my sister responds that if he would just PULL THEM, this wouldn't be a problem. (well, it would, because he'd have NO teeth, but that's not the point of this story.) he pulls out some crap about not wanting to get his DNA on the corn or something. DNA. HE IS SIX. how the hell does he even know what that is??? oh i asked him.

"auntie. ever hear of a movie i like to call SPIDERMAN!??!"

well EXCUSE ME.

less than two weeks to go!

we found out our mortgage commitment letter is in, so now, hopefully, all we have to do is PACK and WAIT.

ew. packing.

eta... fuck that. i'm going to get a pedicure.

how ya like me NOW?

oooh fancy new template!!! do you think it's too busy? i love orange, but i'm thinking it may induce seizures. wtf do you guys care anyway? most of you are viewing through your reader ANYWAY.

let me know. i'll look for something less obnoxious (maybe) tonight.

internets? meet my new...

shed.

i don't want to discuss it.

END THIS!

gah! i am never buying another house ever. EVER. this shit is so fucking ANNOYING. i can't take the nit picky back and forth.

here is my last week and a half:

• inspection last wednesday. house looks great! everything found is small potatoes. yay! but we find out that they want us to put an offer on the shed. the shed that was specifically excluded from the contract. our guess is they thought they could take it and when they realized what a pain in the ass it would be, they wanted to sell it. we said no thanks but if they ripped up the lawn trying to get it out, they'd need to reseed it.
• friday: oh shit, we have radon in the well water.
• monday: we ask for every repair noted on inspection AND an aeration radon mitigation system, at the suggestion of our realtor.
• tuesday: sellers respond with a big fuck you in the form of $1000 credit and you can have the shed. we get pissed, want to tell them to shove the shed up their collective asses. have argument for the ages. decide to respond with three things: mitigation system OR credit in the amount it will cost for us to install it, water pump gauge fix and water heater valve fix. also? fuck your shed. but more nicely.
• wednesday: they let us stew. all day.
• thursday afternoon: they respond: pump fixed, valve fixed and credit at closing in the amount it will cost to have the system installed. also? would we like to buy the shed for $2000? SERIOUSLY WITH THE FUCKING SHED!??!?! (apparently it's a $5000+ shed). our immediate response is: SERIOUSLY WITH THE FUCKING SHED!?!?!? but we think we probably will need one at some point ANYWAY. if we say no, will they just leave it for free? should we counter with half that amount? i seriously don't ever want to hear the word "shed" again.
• and now? we wait.

i am SO TIRED OF THIS. i thought i was going to cry because of the pride of finally owning my very first home. i am going to cry just out of emotional exhaustion and delight when this is finally OVER. i feel like yelling for tom to SWEEP THE LEG, JOHNNY!!

tick tock tick tock

wait, did i already use this subject title? i am too lazy to check, so i apologize if i did. and i apologize that it's lame either way.

we are still waiting on the asshole seller. apparently there is a plumber at the house THIS VERY MOMENT completing some of the tasks we requested (but were told to f off about, basically) AND his agent said they are going to credit us in the amount it will cost to install the mitigation system. it's not in writing yet, so i'm not getting excited. yesterday was TERRIBLE.

seriously. seller? you better HOPE you don't run into me in whole foods after this is all said and done.

in somewhat better news, i got a new chair at work today! it's SO FANCY. i felt like i DID win the lottery when they brought it over.

paging all good luck vibes...

shock. sellers are being a total thorn in my EYE.

JUST PAY FOR THE SYSTEM. please. PLEASE don't make me have to convince my husband that we shouldn't walk away from the house because of this.

this, among other unsavory happenings over the last few days really have my insides in knots. i think i may be feeling entitled which ALSO has my stomach in knots (because i HATE entitlement. HATE IT.), but i'm just going to bitch it out and maybe get over myself??

we, as individuals and as a couple, have been through the fucking RINGER in ways i've discussed on here and in ways that are just too private to mention and i think we are DUE for a change in the weather. i don't want to win the fucking lottery. i don't want more than anyone else. i don't want to have things at someone else's expense or that i didn't earn.

PSA: i know that we are incredibly fortunate people. believe me, i do. so PLEASE don't tell me it could be worse. i know it could. i watch extreme makeover home edition. I GET IT.

sellers, please. this house isn't just the pot of gold at the end of the stupid rainbow for me, it is the WHOLE RAINBOW.

note: could i have more analogies here? i sound like a total idiot. i know. i'm just in such a sad, sad state today. if any of you have any good luck vibes to spare, i'd appreciate them. not just for this.

update to inspection

well it seems as though we have radon. fuck. but we are going for a mitigation system and we are happy about that so i don't want to hear any radon death horror comments. seriously.

here's some a-z for ya's:

A - Attached or Single: attached
B - Best Friend(s): tom, hunter and my girls. they know who they are.
C - Cake or Pie: i like pie
D - Day of Choice: saturday morning
E - Essential Item: chapstick
F - Favorite Color(s): pink
G - Gummy Bears or Worms: bears
H - Hometown: norwich, ct REPRESENT!
I - Indulgence(s): wine
J - January or July: july, though we did get engaged in january and it was pretty freakin fantastic
K - Kids: not yet
L - Life is incomplete without: love
M - Marriage Date: november 3, 2007
N - Number of Siblings: 1 younger sister
O - Oranges or Apples: both
P- Phobias or Fears: the dark, and small spaces
Q - Quote: "when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
R- Ring size: 5
S - Season: fall
T- Tag 3 Friends: eh, anyone!
U - Unknown fact about me: i'm sarcastic. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's unknown, right?
V - Very favorite stores: target
W - Worst Habit: procrastination
X-ray or Ultrasound: this is random. ultrasound, i guess?
Y - Your Favorite Food(s): french fries
Z - Zodiac: gemini

well

the inspection went very well! woot! only found a few small things that are easily fixable. even by ME, if necessary. ha!

i think tom wants to change careers to work as a septic guy (or whatever the heck they are called). he was more interested in this portion of the inspection extravaganza than ANY other. i'm like learning about insulation and ventilation and water pressure and here's tom:

hello, dream fridge. i cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

nerves

today is our home and septic/well inspection. i am VERY excited, but also so nervous. why do i read all these message boards with inspection horror stories? UGH.

the seller's agent is going to be there and has been pretty vocal about not wanting us to use a certain septic inspector -- and we are using that one. 1) she can't dictate who we use and 2) it's who tom's parents use, so it's not like we chose them to be spiteful.

my question is WHY? WHY does she not want us to use this place? is there something WRONG with the septic that only THEY would catch? is there a DEAD BODY in there? (oooh maybe we could get some csi up in there. paging nick stokes!) is my new back yard FULL of sewage? AHHHHHH! i'm so afraid of what will happen. the house is only 23 years old.

please ease my fears with tales of your amazing and happily-ever-after inspections.

i might puke.

shameless

did everyone have a nice memorial day? i hope you all spent it sending a silent shout out to me on my 33rd birthday. woot!

freaky freaky fresh!

my nephew is the next justin timberlake. HOLLA BACK, YOUNGIN! (and no, i didn't teach him this!!!)

bears, beets, battlestar galactica

i need something write about so i am stealing fun fact friday from tessie.

• FACT: i have never mowed a lawn. in my LIFE. it seems intriguing, but i know the novelty will wear off about three seconds into my first venture.
  
• FACT: my dad was an only child who lost both parents by age 11. i have NO idea about that side of my family. like, at ALL.
  
• SAD FACT: my dad's mother died when she was 44 (OF WALKING PNEUMONIA, PEOPLE!)and my dad died in a motorcycle accident at 44 also. creepy, right? side fact: i am NOT looking forward to that age.
  
• FACT: i can change a flat tire in under five minutes. i think i've had more flat tires than anyone. ever. in life.
  
• FACT: my mom took my sister and i to an NKOTB concert in another state when i was 15 (shut up, i know i was too old to like them.) in her beat up OMNI (side note: do they even MAKE THOSE anymore??) and we had to leave early because she was afraid it might break down and didn't want to be stuck on the side of the road at night with children. i CRIED and PITCHED A FIT because i didn't want to leave. FIFTEEN YEARS OLD.
  
• FACT: my husband speaks spanish.
  
• FACT: i have never seen any of the godfather movies OR the scarface movies OR dances with wolves OR gladiator OR ::insert epic movie here:: because violence makes me throw up.
  
• FACT: i won a dr. suess book from smokey the bear in second grade for my fire prevention poster.i was OUT SICK the day he came to my SCHOOL TO GIVE IT TO ME. fucker.
  
• FACT: i used to wonder what i would do in the event that my house caught fire in the middle of the night and i could only choose ONE thing to save. my hypothetical choices were: tom (of tom & jerry fame) stuffed animal, jerry (of tom & jerry fame) stuffed animal, or my sister (who is 5 years younger than me). i always chose tom. incidentally that is also my husband's name. i never chose my sister. sorry, mel.
  
• FACT: BEARS EAT BEETS. edited to correct my wording from "like" to "eat" and provide the PROOF below!
  
• FACT: i was born on memorial day!

four dollars and seven cents

PER GALLON.

that is what i paid for gas last night. that is just ridiculous. i see a vespa in my future. ok, probably not, but COME ON. i am now very glad that tom drives the jeep (grand cherokee) and i drive the beat up old civic. heh. though i remember when i could fill that tank for eleven bucks! (i know, nice story, grandma!) it's like FORTY now.

damn it.

in other news, my bank also "compromised" my name, social security number AND bank account. awesome!

whatever. it's almost the weekend and almost my birthday (GUESS HOW OLD I'LL BE!), AND it's a long weekend which is OBVIOUSLY in honor of my birthday, so i'm still happy.

oh and we had a bake sale at work and i stole half a piece of unbelievable chocolate cake from my co-worker. yum.

death star canteen

guess where i work.

oh hi, do i know you?

::dusting off the blog::

so, change is afoot. we are buying a house!! our FIRST HOUSE. i was not lying when i told tom that i will cry the moment we have the keys in our hands -- and not just because of the agony of the bidding, inspection, closing and Giant Check.

i haven't lived in a house since i was three years old. that's when my parents got divorced. owning a home! i'm going to be a HOMEOWNER! i seriously cannot imagine how proud my dad would be of me. seriously, i think this would be a bigger deal to him than my getting married.

and right about now, tom and i ALSO think that. hahaha. holy shit this is a huge commitment.

anyway, here is a sneak peek at our new digs:

and here is the backyard of CHAMPIONS:

so, yeah. we are so fucking PSYCHED and scared. ha. we are going to be the hoodlums of the neighborhood. did you see how green this LAWN IS?? not only are we NOT getting lawn service, we are going to use a PUSH MOWER. FOR AN ACRE. hahahahaha -- THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!

my car is depressed now

why do i always have a thousand posts in my HEAD, but laze around until ohhhh saaaayy TWO WEEKS go by before i post? don't answer.

anyway. so we live in a fairly nice/average apartment complex. it's surrounded by about 30 million OTHER apartment complexes, however, and that just invites crime. apparently.

for example, our apartment comes STANDARD with a security system. we live on the second floor so that bitch is totally disabled (thanks to SOMEONE'S toddler who pushed 80 buttons and randomly set it off even though we never even programmed it to begin with. that kid is some sort of evil genius. except he's not really evil.). sorry. TANGENT.

there has been a note on our outside door for a few months warning us that a few cars have been broken into lately and had their GPS stolen, so please make sure nothing of value is in your cars and the complex is sorry, but TOUGH SHIT, basically.

speaking of shit, would you like to know what a piece my car is? this is so pathetic, i actually feel bad for my little 98 honda civic...

i keep a spare set of keys in the car because in the winter i'd go and start it to let it warm up before i went to work -- use spare keys to start it and normal keys to lock it so no one would drive off in it. HAHAHAHAHAH WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.

BECAUSE

i came downstairs the other morning to go to work and noticed i had FORGOTTEN to lock the car the night before. not only was nothing stolen OUT of the car, but my spare keys were RIGHT IN PLAIN SIGHT in the console.

so, people actually go to the trouble of breaking into other cars to steal stuff, but won't just open my door, grab the keys, start and DRIVE OFF WITH IT. like, thanks, but no thanks.

sigh. pathetic.

you made all... my dreams come true

ok, look. i know a lot of people SAY they were the biggest nkotb fan around. but i seriously WAS. i saw them in concert a million times, MET them at the magic summer tour (oh yes) in 1990 and had all the crap. most hardcore new kids fans had the whole room-covered-in-posters thing so i wasn't really over the top there. i did also have the DOLLS and sheets and TOWELS and tapestries... i won contests and wrote letters. i even co-founded a group of new kids fans who protested a DJ at a local radio station for dissing the new kids (obviously i realize how pathetic i am). i loved them even WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE. which, for the record, was in 1993. i know. so sad.

i *thought* when i heard of their upcoming reunion that i would be SO OVER it. i mean, i'm almost 33, people. i saw a publicity photo today.

IT IS NOW MY SCREENSAVER.

oh hell YES

i made this. I REPEAT: I MADE THIS!! i've been madly in love with lomo saltado since i first discovered brasitas, which is a fabulous little restaurant. lomo saltado, sangria and plantain chips and salsa. ohhhh sweet jesus.

well, two things... 1) i don't live nearby anymore and 2) they don't serve it for dinner anymore anyway. so i never ate it again. except, my former roommate, anna, is peruvian and MADE IT FOR ME ONCE. it was so good. i mean come on, people. it is a dish that includes french fries AND rice. (i hadn't poured it over the rice yet in the above picture, but still! how GOOD does it look???)

so i've been missing it for like two years now and i finally got up the courage to google some recipes and made it the other night. it was actually GOOD! can you tell i'm amazed by this? i'm not a very good cook. except. MAYBE I AM!

anyway. hooray for lomo saltado! even though i made so much, tom is eating for dinner for the third night this week.

i'm trying, people

so i have today off from work. for easter monday. what? i don't know. all i know is i have it off.
anyway.
my plan is to go to the gym today. so, i started by getting my ipod ready. crap. my songs are all old. so i decide to download an audiobook.
that takes some time.
i download it and realize that i really don't have much battery left, so now i have to charge it.
it's charging.
and i just realized that i'm kind of starving. i can't really exercise on a completely empty stomach.
ok, it's not completely empty. it has three cups of coffee in it.
so now i'm making some lunch.
but then, i'll have to wait till my lunch digests before i go to the gym. i can't really exercise on a full stomach!

i swear. i'll get there before 2pm.

i completely forgot

to mention that we now have FREE starbucks at work. complete with flavor shots. ohhhhh yeah! notice this is the second post in one day. this is NOT a coincidence. also? i didn't even MENTION the st. patrick's day parade in southie yesterday. paraders included: storm troopers, boba fett, elvis (old, ugly elvis), sam adams and ST. PATRICK HIMSELF. a guy was walking by us with a twelve-pack of sam and dropped it. it's like the entire parade screeched to a halt. the crashing of the glass and the beer just pouring out of the cardboard. people were actually offering condolences.

also, we did stand right in front of a wicked awesome roast beef shack. i love boston.

what??

this is a conversation between my project manager and me via IM a few minutes ago:

me [10:27 AM]: the nav... will that be fixed?
pm [10:27 AM]: i don't think so...
me[10:27 AM]: wait, it WON'T be fixed? It has to be fixed.
me [10:27 AM]: I'm not leaving it like this for a week.
pm [10:28 AM]: hey take it easy.....i am looking into it now...


um, did he just tell me to TAKE IT EASY!??!?! dude is lucky he's in europe or he'd be receiving a drop kick. i do not respond well to that sort of behavior. ask my husband how i respond when he tells me i need "to relax." cue: the apocolypse.

also, happy st. patrick's day. tom and i went with his family to see celtic woman on friday night at the casino and it was... long. but people were JAMMING to this stuff. i thought it would be like an hour of yodeling, but no. it was an hour of yodeling and fiddling and then. AN INTERMISSION. then another hour of yodeling and fiddling. i thought the fiddler girl was either going to get her hair caught in the bow OR fall of the damned stage, she was hopping all over so much.

tom called me this morning and sang (one of their gems from friday): "aaarre you going to scarborough faaaaair? parsley, saaaaaage rosemary and twwwwiiiine!"

twine.
he said twine.

curlz

so i was a 90210 fan back in the day. who WASN'T??? they graduated the same year i did. and yes, i actually did attend a 90210 party. as brenda. don't laugh, my friend becky attended as david silver's friend scott who shot himself!!! (we were 16 and still complete assholes.)
anyway, as you probably have heard, there are talks of a 90210 revival show and i saw this picture:

STEVE'S HAIR.

sweet jesus. that is all.

such a learning curve

this is for you, tom. kudos to you for loving me.

forgive me?

for being such a lame blogger? will this suffice for the moment:

is it me you're lookin for?

ok, you all may or may NOT know that i am a HUGE lionel richie fan. there is no rhyme or reason to it, i just love him. deal with it. mock if you will, i don't CARE. i have loved him since ohhhh second grade? i KNOW. i don't understand either.

BUT DAVID COOK DOES!!!

LOST in my house

now, i feel i must post a warning here... 1) if you haven't seen last week's episode, this is DEFINITELY a spoiler and 2) if you have, your head may still explode after reading this.

the following is a conversation between tom and me after watching last week's episode on dvr:

at the end of the episode, i yell, "I KNEW IT!!!" and tom's like, "what?"

me: DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT SHE SAID???
tom: no.
me: SHE SAID, 'AARON' !!!!!!
tom: ...
me: HELLO!??!?
tom: so, her kid's name is aaron.
me: AARON IS CLAIRE'S BABY!!
tom: why would she have claire's baby? maybe she just named her kid after him.

commence head explosion.

ok, i'm in

i watched my first ai of the season last night. i usually wait till we're at the top 10 point, but jan and becky were talking about it the other night and i felt SO LEFT OUT because i didn't know who the hell they were talking about, etc.

also? my nephew watches it and i cannot continue to be schooled by a six year old. he seriously has to jet home from my house so as not to miss it. wtf?

here is the part where i SHOULD be telling you who i like and who i hate. well, since i only saw the results show, i only saw the booted contestants perform and here's what i have to say about them: NO HARD FEELINGS, SUCKASSES. they were all horrible. especially the kid with the puffy hair. ew.

my only other insight is WTF with the girls bawling over every. little. thing? those two they kept showing... i thought they might collapse from distress. get over it already!

can you tell i'm trapped in my house due to weather?

OH MY GOD

ok, ENOUGH with the whine!!! how freaking depressing!? does anyone have leftover seasonal cookies?

2.20

february 20 around 7pm was our last conversation. it's really random and amazing, but she told me how she knew she was pregnant with me and how scary and wonderful it was. i will never, ever forget that last gift. the craziest part is? it was a phone call... 200 miles away from each other. i had no idea it would be our last and i really don't think she did either.

i didn't know she was gone until 5pm february 21. i will get into HOW i found out another time. i will say... my (now) husband is an amazing, enormous-hearted (is that even a real WORD?!), understanding and loving man to have put up with me in those minutes, hours and days that followed. (did i mention that we had been dating just under a year?) he raced home from work to me. he picked me up off the floor. he held me and promised me that i would survive. he called and found out WHERE she was and WHEN we could have her released. he drove me to the airport to pick up my broken-hearted sister and confused 4 yr old nephew. he entertained hunter while my sister and i walked into her apartment. the first time people had entered since the police and ambulance had been there. let us scream and cry, collapse and grieve. held us together when we couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't breathe. helped us find and corral two scared kitties and bring them to a new home: our home. (did i mention tom has asthma? did i mention that it wasn't even a QUESTION in his mind for us to bring them home to live with us?) helped us pack her home, pack our lifetime of memories into boxes and trucks and eventually a storage area. knew that her beloved cedar chest needed to be handled with kid gloves not because it was worth a lot of money, but because it was worth the world to my mother. held my hand and told me i didn't have to prove anything to anyone and i didnt have to get up and speak during her funeral if i didn't want to, but was proud of me when i did. helped carry her casket and gave me space to be angry and loved me at my absolute lowest.

she used to call him "tom terrific" and i would laugh because... how silly!? she was right. i remember after she met him she said, "stephanie, i have prayed for you. i prayed that someone amazing would find you."

thank you, mom. you were right.

warning: sad, mopey and depressing.

ugh. february around this time just fucking sucks. well, back up. first let me say HI and I'M BACK!! i will post later this week about london. or maybe tomorrow. or whatever.

today i've just kind of been a total mope about my mom. i am too completely lazy to check back to see if i ever really wrote about her death. maybe i did? anyway, if i didn't, she died on february 20, 2006. you know, i don't even want to get into it, but let's just sum up? it fucking SUCKS. presidents day 2006 was the last time i ever spoke to her. she has missed so much of my life since then. fucking copd. UGH. maybe i should change the title of this post to "FUCKING SUCKS" since that is really my only thought. i think i tried to skate through last year's anniversary. we got engaged at the end of january. i tried on wedding gowns on february 20, the year anniversary of her death and ended up buying my gown on february 27, the year anniversary of her funeral. fucked up, isn't it? and don't even get me STARTED on how many people ask about bringing your mom in to see the gown before you buy it. JUST DON'T.

anyway, i'm just really missing her right now. her name was tina. she would be 52 this july. she really, REALLY loved my nephew, star magazine, lollipops and canada dry ginger ale. she would have danced like a damned fool at my wedding. she would be really proud of my sister's courage to be a single mom going back to school. she'd be MORTIFIED over the fact that i haven't cleaned out my coffee maker since we got it months ago. she'd be a lot of things. it makes me feel a little better to think she and my dad are somehow watching out for us from "afar" -- wherever that really is. if she is, i KNOW one thing for sure... she knows tom and i got stuck with her two cats and is laughing, "HA, suckers!"

i miss you, mom. and sorry, everyone, for being a debbie downer tonight. sometimes it just overtakes me. luckily, it's not as often as before.

sheesh. no messing around here!

among the items prohibited from being carried onto an airplane at heathrow are the following: cutlery, hiking poles and CATAPULTS!??!

damn, now i have to go repack. fuckers.

see ya friday night. hopefully i will come back from the UK with tons of brilliant stories. or something.

things i am happy about

• i have finally decided -- three days before the primary -- who i will vote for. i'm not all about politics on here, but feel free to let me know YOUR thoughts. i'm always up for being influenced and following others and all that.
• hell to the YEAH for LOST being back. i don't know if it's just that there have been no new shows for fucking EVER or what, but i almost cried i was so happy it was back. and my friend becky has already started filling my head with all the little "clues" -- my favorite so far involves the letters "ho" -- i will leave it there for now for those of you who have yet to watch your DVR. GET TO IT so we can discuss, people!!! i need all of your theories and speculation. also? i love hurley. so so so much.
• i am VERY excited for sunday. hi, NACHOS. and, in case you are wondering who i am rooting for, here is what is hanging up on my white board: believe. and yes, i live in new england. and no, i will not be wearing any sort of football jersey on sunday because i hate them. sorry if you love them, but i think, unless you are ON THE TEAM, you should not be wearing any sort of jersey -- baseball, basketball, football... water polo or WHATEVER. and furthermore, if you wear some sort of sporting apparel (cap, tee shirts, sweatshirts, what have you) please, PLEASE wear the team colors. pink is NOT APPROPRIATE. neither are rhinestones (thank you, kevin, for burning that image into my brain).
• IT'S FRIDAY!!! but, duh.

editing to add: tom brady is still wicked hot even though i am a giants fan. but again, duh.

don't even bother. seriously.

ok, so since i'm now being called out in my comments for laziness, i guess it's time to get back on the horse. though i cannot promise anything of substance. like i ever deliver that anyway!

i almost posted yesterday to let you all know that while i did indeed finally get my kone, i was soo excited to use it that i threw away the box AND THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR CLEANING IT before i read them.

i just decided, out of laziness (NEWS FLASH: i'm lazy), to not empty it. ever. well. that doesn't really work, so i finally googled the dirt devil website. [it's dirtdevil.com would you believe it?] and downloaded the manual for it. side note: did you know you can download by COLOR of the kone? um, does it perform differently based on it's color? in this day and age, shouldn't our handheld vacuums be color blind???

sorry. anyway, um, all you do is screw off the motor and dump the dirt out. now after rereading this, i remember why i didn't post it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD BE A BORING POST.

i promise to post more tonight after therapy. hahahahaha THAT ought to be fun-filled. oh wait, LOST premieres tonight. yeah, fat chance of me posting tonight, suckers!

wtf

do your teeth HURT after going to the dentist? i don't mean for like a root canal or something painful like that. i mean for a CLEANING???

my teeth HURT. for those of you who've suffered orthodontia, they hurt like tightening braces hurt. all they did was clean them, for crying out loud.

this is NO way to get me to floss. i'm just saying.

also, i'm sorry i've been such a lazy ass about posting for the last week. it's like the opposite of sex. the less you do it, the less likely you are to want to do it. or wait. is that the same as sex?

dirt devil update

i love target.

target, will you be my valentine?

so, i called them and told them my tale of woe fully expecting them to laugh and hang up on me (because that is what i would do.) and the woman put me on hold and then came back, "Oh yes, I have a record of that hand-held being brought over to the service desk, but I don't see it here. Why don't you just bring in your receipt and we'll GIVE YOU A NEW ONE"

(side note: why do i not feel it necessary to use capitalization except when i'm quoting someone? wtf?)

so i hopped over there on saturday and picked up and BROUGHT HOME my new dirt devil KONE. i love it. though they say you can put it anywhere in your house and because it's soooo stylish, it'll fit in.

my husband doesn't really notice house stuff, but he stopped mid-sentence when he returned home saturday to say, "When did we get a megaphone?"

son of a...

the dirt devil is NOT IN MY CAR. nor is it in my home.

target=1
stephanie=0 and PISSED.

waaaait a second...

ok, i am in a possible predicament. yesterday i stopped at target and purchase a dirt devil kone (because i am just that stylish, ok?!) and last night when tom was prattling on about something to do with our Very Nutritious Dinner (boneless buffalo wings and french fries. AND BEER!), i realized i didn't bring the dirt devil in with me.

this morning i took the jeep to work instead of my death mobile so now i'm paranoid about where the dirt devil is. i KNOW i paid for it. i KNOW i put it in my cart. what i cannot remember is whether i left it in the car or if i left it IN THE CART. can you fucking imagine if i left it in cart? merry late christmas, random target shopper! i hope my CREDIT CARD RECEIPT IS IN THERE, TOO!

i'm hoping i just left it in the car, but it would be my luck to just leave it at the store. what an asshole i am.

please make me feel better. tell me you've done something even remotely as stupid.

oh yes, another

HOT WEDDING PHOTO!!!!

it's not only kids...

who are troublesome to photograph. here are my sister-in-law's attempts to photograph tom and me on our first married christmas:

ok, she said in that one, tom was covering my face with his gang signs. she should have said YOUR HIPS LOOK ENORMOUS IN THOSE JEANS. never wear them AGAIN. but she is sweet and would never say that.

however, here's take two: clearly there is a theme here of tom not liking my face.

let's try again:
um, yeah. this one, i will admit, is my fault. OK ONE MORE:

FINALLY! ok i'm through attention whoring for the day.

saturday morning

just a little serenity now for ya's...

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
— Joseph Campbell

boston fans only!

ha! that is the sign my nephew read (or rather, SHOUTED) to me tonight before going to sleep. we're keeping him overnight tonight for my sis and he sleeps in tom's "man room."

the name is in quotes because it is SO NOT a man room. i promised him when we rented the apartment that the second bedroom could be his man room to decorate as poorly as he'd like with NO INPUT from me. well, life happened (or, more accurately, life stopped) and my mom died. mel and hunter shacked up with us for a while and the man room became their room.

once they flew the coop, i promised yet again to give him the room. well, then we got engaged so it became "the wedding crap room" -- nothing manly about that. ok, wedding came and went, but then CHRISTMAS came and it transformed into wedding-crap-we-need-to-get-rid-of SLASH christmas-presents-and-wrapping-paper room. complete with a closet full of piece-of-shit-crinoline and balled-up-wedding-gown.

it also has a futon that doubles as hunter's bed when we keep him overnight, so there is a toybox and a bookshelf filled with our books and hunter's books.

the only stuff that sort of even makes the room even slightly resemble a "man room" is the panoramic framed print of fenway during the 2004 ring ceremony, a 2007 world series parking sign and a book with a cover reading................ BOSTON FANS ONLY!!!

by the way, did i mention hunter is learning how to read? it is completely insane to watch him SOUND OUT WORDS and. like, READ. READING, i said. i don't understand how it makes me so ridiculously proud and incredulous to watch him learn this skill. he read two books to us tonight:

• where are the dogsharks? (side note: what the fuck is a dogshark? way to confuse a level one reader with a MADE UP ANIMAL)
• bug stew (dudes, he completely housed this one and i thought he would have trouble. HE KNEW BUMBLEBEES! that is a long-ass word.

ok, i'm going to say what you're all thinking. if this kid is my nephew, i'm going to be one obnoxious mother when i have my own kids.

if i have time to teach them to read between all the wine fetching they'll have to do. chores are good for kids, right?!

who else is sick?

am i the only one who is on antibiotics for the second time in six weeks? just checking. did i mention that both times are for TEN DAYS? at least the first time (double ear infection and sinus infection) it was just one pill a day. this time (strep throat) it's one pill TWICE a day. what the hell? between that, my vitamin and the several thousand advil i ingest to combat minor aches and pains, i'm a bonafide Pill Popper.

not excited about this. i'm also not excited that i don't have anything better to blog about today. 2008 has not started off as the Year of the Blog for me. but i am adding to my very short list of resolutions to blog at least five times a week.

so far, so boring. maybe i should try to make the blog WORTH reading five times a week.

ugh. pill time.

making it in just under the wire... (east coast time)

hope 2008 is better than the weather in CT right now.
CHEERS!

very exclusive.

so tonight i had a pajama party with my sister and my nephew. when they walked in after work (at 5:45pm) i was already IN my pajamas, complete with glass of pinot noir.

i told them there are RULES to this pajama party. hunter agreed immediately. i said, "don't you want to know what the rules are before you blindly agree??" he didn't really care, so i fired away:

1. you must be in pajamas
2. you must party
3. you must have a special drink
4. you must eat until your belly hurts

he was like, well DUH, OF COURSE I AGREE!! so, melanie switched her special drink between heineken light and amstel light ( i prefer HL. i HATE regular heineken, however. just in case you wanted to send me beer or something.), i stuck with the wine and hunter had several shirley temples.

we ate: mozzerella sticks, egg noodles with butter and cheese, pigs in a blanket, salad with chicken, tortilla chips with spinach artichoke dip AND hot fudge sundaes. shut up, there was a randomly healthy salad involved. it's a PARTY, for christ sake!

hunter was a little disappointed because we didn't have "special effects" -- he is hosting a new year's eve party and said it will include a disco ball. i totally failed in the special effects department.

he also let us in on a VERY top secret fact about polar bears... did you know if they aren't "developed" properly, they just turn into seals? and if seals don't develop properly they turn into whales. hey, thanks animal planet. you're CLEARLY teaching him a lot. oh yes, and while orangutan is SPELLED o-r-a-n-g-u-t-a-n , it's pronounced "o-rang-uh-tang" -- he will not budge on this. yum, tang...

ps, i think i'm getting sick again, but did i take airborne today? no. instead i drank basically a bottle of pinot noir. eh, same diff. CHEERS.

wait, it's over?

christmas came and went in a flash this year. in the blink of an eye. without warning. or more accurately, while i was in DENIAL. how the hell did it get here so FAST?? i had no prep time.

or at least, i felt like i didn't. i blamed the wedding, but let's be honest, people. the wedding was 11/3 and we were back from the honeymoon on the 12th. i should have been out beating up strangers on black friday with the rest of you. or at least -- online shopping!!!! that requires about ZERO effort. ugh. i suck.

i did manage to get the tree up and get gifts for everyone, but don't think i wasn't out shopping on christmas eve, because i totally was. i think tom and i did ok for family gifts, but i just wish i had more time (wasn't so lazy?) to really put 100% thought into each and every one. hahahaha who am i kidding, gift cards for all, forever!!!

and speaking of gift cards, i always hear that is a lame ass gift and people feel like you cheesed out on them if you give them a gift card. that? is a little thing i like to call bullshit. i LOVE getting gift cards. i have a STACK of them that i am staring at right now and planning how to use. ooooh i cannot wait. coffee, clothes, shoes, gas, electronics -- hell to the YEAH, santa!!!

tom got me great gifts -- did i mention that walgreens is his favorite place to get gifts? it is. i received three "as seen on tv" items and don't hate. i love infomercial merchandise. i also got an ipod nano!!! yahoo! this is an especially excellent gift because my sad little mini was swiped (or more likely left on the plane) on our honeymoon and i have that work trip to london in february.
i need plane distractions. me + plane = fucking freakout. my flight to heathrow is like 71, 356 hours. nonstop. i might implode from fear. i don't have any real reasons to dislike flying -- just a generally irrational and primal FEAR. the ipod and all it's fun little games and VIDEO capabilities will help whatever my (hopefully) prescribed anti-freakout medication can't handle.
so, yay for tom!! i may survive this trip!

we spent christmas eve with my sister and nephew and exchanged presents and ate pizza (and drank lots of wine). opened gifts yesterday morning at our house, then we all went over to tom's parents' for dinner and more awesome gifts. last night was spent downloading friends episodes onto the ipod and watching elf. "we elves like to stick to the four major food groups: candy, candy canes, candy CORN and syrup!"

At the casino. Tom is in the back left corner.

for those of you bored on this friday before christmas....

here is a grainy, crappy cell phone movie of hunter last year doing his genius rendition of jingle bells. it's the instrumental version. he's like the trans siberian orchestra, party of one.

except, his guitar is made out of paper.

he asked me for a guitar and i said, um, we don't have one. so he asked me to make him one. MAKE him one. so i drew something akin to a beat down ukelele on a piece of construction paper. hahahahaha NOT EVEN CARDBOARD. and put some yarn strings on it. it's so lame. ENJOY!!

my car is an asshole

so this morning on my drive into work, i'm behind a giant suv. it's, of course, spraying ice and sand and all sorts of winter wonderland all over my windshield. SO, i think, as any NORMAL driver would, hey, let's just spray some washer fluid and wipe that shit right off.
i press the button, the washer stuff squirts right up and my wipers come up like normal... until about the halfway point -- you know, the part that's RIGHT IN MY LINE OF VISION -- and decide they're done for the day.
that's right. they just stopped. they stared at me as if to say, fuck you, stephanie, have fun driving 45 minutes on the highway with windshield washer fluid frozen to your windshield. also, enjoy the added bonus of wipers blocking about 75% of your view. let's not forget the overall shitty weather conditions and the fact that this car is a 1998 honda civic that is generally awful in any sort of inclement weather.
HAPPY MONDAY!

x mas tree, fireplace and SNL x mas special. NICE.

informer

remember snow? the guy who sang, sorry... RAPPED "informer" ????

no? just me?

anyway, i'm reminded of him today because:



10 inches apparently on the way.

oh and FUN FOR DRIVING, TOO!

have any of you been to london?

i'm going in february (yes, i realize that is PEAK WEATHER) and tom's meeting me at the end of my conference for a long weekend in london. the thing is... WHERE SHOULD WE STAY? what should we do? i have never been and i need ideas and places to see and visit.

yes, i realize i could google stuff and go on tripadvisor and all that, but i'd rather get some real recommendations from you guys, if you have any (read: i'd rather you do my leg work).

cheers!

squid ammo!!!

what a freakin slacker i am. nearly two weeks without a post. i blame messing with texas. she shamed me for only having 15 blogs in my google reader, so i ventured out...read more...added a ton more and now ALL I HAVE TIME TO DO IS READ. which i suppose isn't fair. i'm lazing around, reading everyone else's blog and totally not contributing. well, i comment -- does that count for anything!? probably not. listen, i'm lazy. i know my husband reads this. comment tom, and TELL THEM how lazy i am.

anyway, i worked at a Certain Big Toy Store this weekend to help educate our consumers on the total awesomeness of buying our product over some other lame-o biter brand and fell in love with this totally random (to me, because i don't have any of the accompanying product line) accessory:


it's seriously called squid ammo. it's all rubbery and snotty and i love it. so i bought some. again, i have NO USE for this. i don't have the weapon with which to fire said squid ammo, but i have seven pieces of it regardless.

in other news, it's officially two weeks till christmas. i've got about oooooh 92% of my shopping LEFT to do. how about you? i'm sure you're all finished, have it wrapped and mailed out and all that. we've received several holiday cards already. hi, real-life friends? please excuse us, tom and i haven't even finished our thank you cards from november. no christmas cards this year. HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE SLACKER FAMILY!!

our wedding was 11/3. am i a total asshole for not having the cards done yet? please say no. i still have like 80 left.

i'm alive! sort of...

no, i didn't die in the heaven that is the new bed. almost. it's beyond description, it's THAT awesome. although it's sort of, um, high? when we were buying it, the sales guy sold us on a lot of bullshit that we probably didn't need... like the mattress cover (hi, your 10 year warranty on a bed that cost well over a grand is NULL and VOID if you don't have a mattress cover? wtf? fine, whatever, we'll buy it), so by the time we got to the box spring, we were like getmeoutofhere. anyway, the guy asked us if we wanted the "low" box spring instead of the normal size one. my first question, "IS IT MORE MONEY??" no, it's the same. why would we want a low box spring? i don't get it. so we were like, nah, we'll stick with um, the normal one.

well he didn't explain really that we'd need a SPRINGBOARD to catapult ourselves onto the bed because the mattress itself is like 8 feet thick. anyway, it's like princess and the pea. or something.

anyway. on to more interesting topics. like my husband. a little bit ago, i went into the kitchen to make a grilled cheese (i'm working from home because i'm sick. which is why i'm "sort of" alive. i have a double ear infection. what f'ing grown up gets a single, let alone DOUBLE ear infection??) and noticed our cereal bowls in the sink. mine with a normal sized spoon. tom's with a SERVING SPOON.

now, i know this silverware (or flatware or whatever the hell it's called) is new, but this is CLEARLY not an eating utensil. don't believe me?

my normal, eating spoon is on the right. the serving spoon tom used to eat FROOT LOOPS with is on the left. if you are still not convinced, here is a shot of them next to my not teeny tiny hand for size comparison:

i guess i should consider him resourceful -- fewer bites means less time sitting idly eating cereal watching the morning tv. wait, WHY would you want to speed that up??